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These ‘Truth Or Dare’ Tales Make Your Slumber Parties Look Painfully Inadequate

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Over at Reddit, the virtual playground of show-and-tell continues with an appropriately themed thread called “What’s The Most F*cked Up Game Of Truth Or Dare You’ve Ever Played?” These people bared their souls in ways that one can only do while safe behind the cloak of anonymity. After all, none of these stories paint the users in a positive light, but they are hilarious tales. Reddit has been on a tear lately with haunted house stories, shameful parenting secrets, and bitter tributes to relationships lost.

Now Reddit will tell you why playing Cards Against Humanity with your family is a baaad idea. And surprisingly, getting naked with random friends and strangers rarely works out for the best. Who knew?

Richard_Less fully embodies his username with this brutal kickoff:

“I was first up, and they dared me to leave and go home.”

Computerinflames completely embarrassed himself in naked style:

“I get dared to go mash my balls up against her parents’ bedroom window. Granted, it’s like 1am, and the whole house is completely dark, so I thought it would be no big deal. Get out of the hottub, run over to the window, drop my suit, and smash my junk up against the window for a few moments. Then, in the reflective light of the pool, I catch a glimpse of her parents sitting right inside the window, watching us from inside. They didn’t even blink, just just watched me. It was fucking terrifying. TERRIFYING. Like, I saw them for a split f*cking second as the light passed over the glass, just inches away from my mashed up d*ck on the other side of the window. Something from a horror movie.”

AustinXTyler got shut down from even attempting his dare:

“Played truth or dare with some friends at a party. I got dared to kiss all of the girls there and none wanted to. F*ck me.”

Bowdrex didn’t fare better. In fact, he fared even worse:

“This girl was dared to kiss me or lick the toilet. She licked the toilet.”

Cobysev received more than he bargained for with a friendly kiss:

“I was dared to kiss my best friend (we’re both males). He slobbered all over my face and tried to slip me the tongue. I pulled back and cried out, asking him what the hell he’s doing while wiping his saliva off my face. He claimed that’s how he thought you were supposed to kiss. He was a kissless virgin. This was in high school. I was his first kiss.”

MissMauly proves why you should never play Cards Against Humanity with your family members:

“My brother got Cards Against Humanity, but hadn’t played it before. We opened it up to play with my parents and aunt and uncle. I had to put a stop to him explaining what bukakke is to my mom. Fortunately my dad just quietly looked up bukkake on his phone, said, ‘oh, uh … okay.’ and turned his card in for a new one.”

Trexrocks found out more than she bargained for with this truth:

“I found out that this really good friend of mine had apparently f*cked my boyfriend on Prom night after I decided to go home rather than lose my virginity to him. Good times.”

Vaginal_Rights‘ user name doesn’t mean he scored with this dare session:

“Me, two guy friends, and two girl friends. It eventually led to daring the girls to go into the shower naked, which could fit quite a few people for a shower actually. One girl dared the one guy to get naked, the other girl dares the other guy to get naked, and I’m sitting there with my boxers on, no one bothered to dare me anything after that, they were having a foursome in the shower. I was sitting in the bedroom adjacent to the bathroom in my boxers.That hurt.”

Pr0u had a load of fun with the language barrier at another’s expense:

“We were playing ‘Never have I ever’ and this french guy (exchange student) said something that sounded like: “Never have I ever sh*t on my girlfriend!” After about 2 minutes of laughter his buddy helped explain that he actually meant ‘cheat.’ Damn you language barrier ;)”

That’s all we can repeat here, but the story of a naked orgy turned fistfight awaits you, if you dare to read further.

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