Redditors Reveal The Times Porn Scenarios Happened To Them In Real Life

10.09.15 3 years ago
shutterstock_159794156 copy

Stock Image via Shutterstock / Uproxx

As a timely follow up to the recent AskReddit question where people outlined their favorite sexy, yet implausible examples of “porn logic,” this time, Reddit solicits for answers as to whether or not anyone has actually ever lived a porn scenario — such as plumbers, delivery people, nannies, etc. — and if so, what’s their story? So basically, Reddit’s answer to “Letters to Penthouse.”

On that note, it goes without saying that at least a few of these are probably impressive works of fiction. But this kind of stuff has to happen sometimes, right? (Either way I am just glad that I get to use this header image again. My apologies once again to the nice stock photo lady who was almost definitely not thinking “finger pointing” emoji pointed at the “okay hand sign” emoji when she shot this photo.)

As such, we’ve listed the cream of the crop (pun intended) in order from most to least plausible.

I can totally buy this one from _Ryman_, because why would you even make this up? It’s not even particularly that good of a story.

I was a pizza guy for 3 years. Delivered to this one cute girl. Anyhow handed her the pizza, had her sign and while she did she poked her booty out quite nicely. Then she had my attention. But typical me didn’t make any conversation. She handed me back the receipt asked if I had a FB. I said no, but I can give you my phone number. Minutes after I got in my car she texted me talking dirty stuff. So when I got off my shift I came back over and it happened. Didn’t happen on the spot, but I came back and got the job done shortly after. It counts. Right?

Crookyn here writes that he/she was 11 at the time, so the nativity is understandable.

Well… I guess my mom and step-dad were in one. He was a handyman who came over to fix our dishwasher. Next thing I new he was coming over nightly. 2 weeks in I asked my mom, “Why don’t you just replace the darn dishwasher? I’m sick of this guy over ever night….”

What woman has not fantasized about doing it with the hot contractor like Misstressv, here?

Was having my bathroom renovated and the lead guy had hit on me once before when out to do maintenance. So, when he saw it was me, he quickly excused himself, left then 5 mins later I get a call asking me to meet him at a motel. We got it on every day for 2 weeks while my bathroom was being done.

SA_Swiss alleges that he got some Stifer’s mom action, here:

I went to a friends wedding in another country. As I arranged to go at the last minute I could not find a hotel room for the night. My friends divorced mother offered that I stay at her house. I’ve only seen her mother a couple of times before, but accepted to stay over. After everyone left to their hotel rooms, her mom and I were alone, a few drinks later we were naked on the couch and a few minutes later we were in the bedroom.

We’ve ranked these Reddit ‘real life porn scenario’ submissions from most to least plausible.

Best 3 day weekend away in a long time :)

FYI to ncarange, because 50 is not even that old. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is 54!

Airbnb! stayed at this woman’s house. She was only renting out one of the rooms and I just needed to stay for a night. Her profile said she cooks you breakfast and is a very warm and friendly person (50 year old female). She lived alone with just one cat so I could imagine she was pretty lonely. I introduced myself to her, we had some small talk and then I left to meet some friends downtown for a few beers. When i came back I went down to the kitchen to snag a glass of water and I shit you not, she was sitting there in just a bathrobe drinking a glass of wine. She poured me a glass as well, and I decided to take her up on her generous offer. As I was about to grab the glass of water she stood up and dropped her robe (amazing body for 50 years old!!) and she said “or we can just skip to the fun part”

didn’t even charge me for my stay. Best 30 seconds of my life.

thekun1va recalls a particularly fun IKEA delivery:

This was a couple of years ago when I was 19 (26 now) I worked for a company that pick up stuff at IKEA and drive it out to people that order stuff online here in Sweden, I picked up a sofa and it was always protocol to call them like 15 minutes before you show up just so they now that I am there soon, she picked up said it was all good. After we got the sofa into her apartment we removed all the plastic and paper surrounding it because I usually take all that stuff with me again to throw away. Once everything was done she told me to sit down and have a glass of water, I sat down in the new sofa and she went away for a minute or two, and came back with only underwear on and we started to fuck on the new furniture, and that was about the best evening ever at work :)

Back2Bach supposedly got busy with a girl installing his blinds. Hmm.

I was living in an off-campus rental during part of college. The landlord hired a local paint/decorating business to have new window blinds installed.

The girl who came to put them up (I was there by myself, waiting) was cute, friendly and flirted while standing on the ladder with me sitting on the edge of the bed, watching and making small talk.

At one point, she put the drill and screw driver down, and small talk became no talk …

But unlike a porn scenario, we dated for a few months thereafter.

Around The Web