We’ve all been there. You’re finally excited to take some time off work or have a mellow weekend in the spring months, and your friend’s kid-brother — who you picked for your wall-ball team by-accident in 6th grade — has invited you to his wedding. It’s a traditional affair and should be painless enough, but you just don’t want to go.
You haven’t seen the kid in 10 years. His bride-to-be isn’t a fan of yours since she heard the story of you kicking him off said wall-ball team way back when. So you curse the day that “save the date” came in the mail and, every time you walk past it and glare at it hanging on your fridge, you brainstorm a new way to get out of it. You need the perfect out.