Seinfeld was, of course, a show about nothing, but the universal struggle to eek by really was at the center of the show, and one of mankind’s greatest struggles is the pursuit of happiness by way of love. On Seinfeld, however, that pursuit typically ended in failure. We’ve previously discussed how Jerry would be an incredibly terrible boyfriend, so clearly a lot of this romantic calamity falls on his shoulders (and the shoulders of his similarly picky and ridiculous friends), but while the reasons for cycling through half of Manhattan are suspect, you can’t sleep on the execution.
Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer knew how to break up with someone in spectacular fashion. So, next time you find yourself in desperate need of an exit strategy, why not borrow from the Seinfeld playbook and use these battle-tested breakup lines?