Superheroes Pantless And Posed In The Art Of CoelaSquid, 4Chan And David Finch

Inspired by the tiny, scantily clothed Wonder Woman on David Finch’s new Justice League cover, CoelaSquid of Manly Guys Doing Manly Things drew what male superheroes might look like if they were similarly pantless and posed. Then 4Chan got a hold of it and took things to the next level with Alan Moore wearing a “Watchmen” speedo straddling his beard. With the exception of Aquaman, who pretty much looks like business as usual, the boys look ridiculous.

That said, I don’t think the pants/no pants critique holds much water. With male superheroes, even the knees and ankles are bulging, to say nothing of the crotch. Is Wonder Woman showing more skin? Yes, but the difference between her wearing pants and going about in underwear is really just the coloring. It’s not like she was wearing a pantsuit.

I would be more concerned with the fact that Wonder Woman is now apparently petite with a spaghetti noodle lasso. Isn’t she supposed to be an Amazon? I want my Wonder Woman to be tall and jacked with a lasso that looks like she’s going to rope Babe the Blue Ox, I don’t want her tiny and gyrating over a glorified g-string. We have multiple Wonder Woman porno spoofs for that already.

What I’m trying to say is there is a time and place for this kind of hypersexual superhero shenanigans. We need to bring back superhero swimsuit issues so we can all get these feelings out in a safe environment that is indisputably as sexually exploitative for both male and female characters.

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Original image by CoelaSquid, modified on 4Chan, via Bleeding Cool.