This Terrifying Robot Just Wants To Dance, Presumably On Our Graves

If you’re anything like me, then you’re fascinated by robotics. As a kid, I was obsessed. I almost exclusively watched educational shows about the future of robots in society (OK, it was actually Transformers). I insisted on dressing as a robot for Halloween, and it was a sweet costume. Unfortunately, it was so heavy that I barely made it around the block before giving up on Trick-or-Treating. I used to beg my dad to take me to the monster truck rally to see Robosaurus, but he never did. When my friends would play Star Wars, they’d all fight over who got to be Luke Skywalker and Han Solo. Not me, though. I always had dibs on C-3PO. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I sure do like me some robots.

When Gamma Squad gave me the opportunity to write a post all about a robot that can realistically mimic human movements, I jumped at the chance. I’ve heard this thing is so adept at mimicking the way people move, that it can actually dance. I love to dance! If I got to dance with a robot, it would be the greatest day of my life. I haven’t gotten a chance to look at it yet, but here’s a GIF of it in action.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. Nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono. No thank you.

OK, that was freaky, but I may have overreacted just a smidge. I think it’s only fair that we give this cold, soulless, unfeeling, dancing machine another chance. You know, for science.

I have a few questions and statements, in no particular order.

  1. Why?
  2. WHY?
  3. Is it supposed to look like ’90s Courtney Love dressed as both Emma Frost and Ganondorf?
  4. This looks like exactly like someone that spawn-killed me with RPG’s for 15 minutes on Grand Theft Auto: Online last week.
  5. Are you unable to wash it because you’re afraid it will rust?
  6. Seriously, why the f*ck is it so dirty?
  7. If this is what we do with robots, no wonder Skynet wants us all dead.
  8. You’d tell us if it got struck by lightning and became sentient, like in Short Circuit, right?
  9. Do you keep it tethered to a mirror to remind it that it’s hideous, and unworthy of love?
  10. Have you considered getting it a pet? Maybe a BigDog or a LittleDog?

Here’s a video of the robot in action, if you’re into the idea of never sleeping again.

The robot was created by artist Jordan Wolfson, with the help of Spectral Motion. If you’re interested in seeing more (or you feel like you’re a terrible person and you need to be punished), it is currently on display at David Zwirner Gallery in New York. If you’re planning on going, I must warn you: the robot has facial recognition technology, and will stare at you in the mirror. It will even follow you with its eyes if you walk away. I swear I am not making this up. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go lie awake for the rest of my life.

Via Buzzfeed