The Dumbest Burglar Ever Checked Facebook During A Robbery And Forgot To Log Out

We see plenty of dumb criminals pass through the hallowed pages of UPROXX, most recently the selfie-taking phone thieves and wrench-wielding burglar who got his ass handed to him by an old lady with a backscratcher — but this guy might actually take the cake. 26-year-old Nicholas Wig broke into homeowner James Wood residence last week, and aside leaving his sneakers, jeans and a belt behind at the scene, he also decided to check Facebook, mid-burglary, and didn’t bother logging out. (Or, you know, clearing the history or anything like that, obviously.)

It all pretty much just gets dumber from there. From CBS4 WCCO:

Wood posted to Facebook using Wig’s profile, saying Wig had burglarized his home. He even shared his phone number to see if someone would call with information. Wig texted him later that day.

“I replied you left a few things at my house last night, how can I get them back to you,” Wood said.

Wig agreed to meet with Wood later that night. Wood believes Wig was under the impression he would give him back some of his clothes he had left at his home in exchange for a recycled cell phone Wig had stolen.

Wood, at his friend’s house, left for home. On his way back to his house he saw and recognized Wig, from his Facebook profile, walking on the street. He immediately called police.

It’s unclear why Wood decided to take the detective work into his own hands instead of just turning the Facebook information over to police, who probably could have quickly apprehended the criminal — so luckily it turns out that Wig was just a garden variety dumb criminal and not a “dangerously stupid” one. Because seriously, this is like some “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” sh*t right here. The only way this guy could have made it easier for himself to get caught is if he ate all of the homeowner’s porridge and then fell asleep in his bed.

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