On November 14, 2017, Blake Shelton murdered Dwayne Johnson.
How else to explain why the country music star and The Voice co-host was named People‘s Sexiest Man Alive, an honor that went to Johnson in 2016? The Rock isn’t the only one Shelton killed — Matthew McConaughey, Channing Tatum, Chris Hemsworth, and Ryan Reynolds were also slain — but he’s the only one tweeting about the sexy injustice from beyond the grave.
The Rock doesn’t know why he was dethroned, but he has a theory. “Let’s all just take a moment to recognize @people’s Sexiest Man Alive will always be the 6’5 260 lbs. of tattooed brown eyed soul,” the Moana star tweeted. “And clearly there’s lots of steamy cheese on this pizza I’m serving. That is all. Let’s get back to work.” Following the Shelton announcement (which, lol no), he added, “Truth is I was going to become the first ever back to back SMA but that absurd fanny pack picture made its rounds on the interweb again causing @people to rethunketh the whole damn thing.” You know the one.
The Rock may have lost humanity’s greatest honor, but he’s still having a good week: his daughter, Simone Garcia Johnson, was selected to be the 2018 Golden Globe Ambassador. And besides, neither he nor Shelton deserves to wear the Sexiest Man Alive belt while Oscar Isaac is breathing.