What a difference less than three years makes. Here ^^ is a look back to December 2019, when Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky and Russian President Vladimir Putin were in the same room (with French President Emmanuel Macron in a very awkward sandwich) during a meeting to discuss Ukraine with a further buffer of then-German Chancellor Angela Merkel at Paris’ Elysee Palace. Fast forward to now, and the world has not only endured an ongoing pandemic, but Russia invaded Ukraine for an ongoing, disastrous conflict that’s led to untold loss of life including many top Russian generals, all while Putin’s shipping Steven Seagal to spread horrific propaganda as a Kremlin spokesperson.
It’s not going well for anyone, but hopefully, those Ukranian grandmothers can keep wielding molotov cocktails upon those “Russian sh*ts.” In the meantime, some Russians are still down to go on vacation despite the obvious reasons not to do so, and they’ve been choosing Crimea. That’d be the Crimean peninsula of Ukraine, which Putin has taken under Russian control and aims to annex by September.
For the moment, though, the area remains under Ukraine control, and the besieged country’s defense ministry is asking tourists to get the hell out in the most unsubtle way: with a video set to Bananarama’s “Cruel Summer.” Cue the footage of tourists running while explosions disrupt their bikini time. “Unless they want an unpleasantly hot summer break,” the defense ministry wrote on Twitter alongside the video. “[W]e advise our valued russian guests not to visit Ukrainian Crimea.”
Unless they want an unpleasantly hot summer break, we advise our valued russian guests not to visit Ukrainian Crimea.
Because no amount of sunscreen will protect them from the hazardous effects of smoking in unauthorised areas.
🎶Bananarama pic.twitter.com/NnWnpZqMhR— Defense of Ukraine (@DefenceU) August 11, 2022
As Al Jazeera reports, several Russian fighter jets recently met their demise due to explosions at the Saki airbase. It’s a development not officially claimed by Ukraine but has been credited (as pointed out by the Daily Beast) to be undoubtedly the work of Ukrainian special forces. One can only expect the violence to worsen before this conflict ends. In other words, why the hell is anyone vacationing in Crimea right now?