US Draws Germany, Portugal, Ghana In 2014 World Cup

Soccer’s popularity in the United States has grown exponentially over the past 15 years. From “you like soccer? What are you, gay?” to “yeah, I don’t watch much soccer, but FIFA is awesome!” to “HOLY SH*T SOCCER IS AWESOME AHHH USA! USA! USA!” It’s safe to say that our interest in the sport is catching up with the rest of the world.

So, because we’re all super-educated on the sport, it goes without saying that Friday’s World Cup draw is a huge buzzkill. You can read the entire Cup drawings here, but in short, the United States drew Germany (perennial top-5 team), Portugal (loaded with stars like Cristiano Ronaldo and Nani) and Ghana (who always – ALWAYS – finds a way to f*ck things up for the U.S.).

That sense of dread you’re feeling is warranted. American soccer continues to improve, but don’t be surprised if we get sent packing early.