Vancouver Riots Kissing Couple On The ‘Today’ Show

Last week, when Scott Jones and Alex Thomas — the oblivious Canadian makeout couple — first came into our lives, we were all like, “WTF!?” The photo of the two kissing in the middle of a riot inspired memes and was quickly compared to iconic photos from the past. And then we found out who they were and what led them to that point and we were all like, “AWWWW.” And we had hope, hope that love was alive and well and far from dead. But now today they were on the Today show talking about the whole ordeal, and it was during this interview that I came to the crushing realization that I suppose the only thing that’s left is for them to succumb to the pressure they’ll now be under to be the perfect couple and get married and split up, breaking all of our hopeful little hearts.

Seriously, what relationship could possibly stand the scrutiny and the pressure these two will probably now face to be the perfect couple and get married? I’ll bet their phones are already ringing with “opportunities” to cash in, all of which will likely involve them getting married very soon, on television, to strike while the iron’s hot. The pressure for these two to marry, for the sake of all of us, will be unrelenting. This makes me sad, because they seem, based on what little I know about both of them, like a perfectly nice couple who have a real shot at staying together for a long time under normal circumstances. (Although dude keeping his hand in homegirl’s lap throughout this whole interview was kinda weird, I think.)

So here they are, the world’s couple…enjoy them while they last. (Jesus, I’m so jaded on Monday mornings!)