Have you ever attended a wedding that you knew — from either the moment you got the invitation or halfway through the reception — that there was no way these two people were going to make it? Like you just knew that there is no way in hell these people were meant to be together. Heck, we’ve seen it plenty of times in the Uproxx archives alone.
Unfortunately, it’s not always obvious to the two people headed to the altar that their union is going to crash and burn harder than fighting robots in a Michael Bay movie, which can lead to some very awkward and uncomfortable weddings. Whether the groom gets drunk before the reception even starts or the bride is clearly making an “I’ve made a huge mistake” face, sometimes it’s just clear to everyone witnessing the sacred union.
Such was the topic of this Reddit thread asking the question: “What happened at a wedding that let you know the marriage was going to end in a divorce?” And boy… if you think you’ve been to some bad weddings, wait til you hear these doozies. We’ll start with this top-voted response from destinydivided, who hopefully won a cut of the money:
The groom looked drunk and the bride seemed incredibly angry. Then there was this woman walking around during the reception placing bets on when they would divorce. I later found out she was the mother of the groom.
Vogelarcher15 points out another perceptive mother-in-law:
At the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s mom is in tears, because “he looks miserable” and he was, we all knew it. During the vows they had written for eachother, the bride starts with “I know I can be a pretty terrible person, and I don’t know why you’ve stuck around, but that’s all going to change starting today!”
They were divorced a year later.
It’s amazing this couple Back2Bach (great username, by the way) describes could even reach an agreement on the table linens:
We knew the couple was in trouble when they frowned during most of the ceremony and later didn’t go on a honeymoon because they couldn’t agree on a destination. They had plenty of money — just no desire to compromise.
As Cricketino notes, sometimes the bride just knows:
My cousin (the bride) told us, as she was going from table to table thanking the guests, that she didn’t think it would last. We were stunned. They lasted about a year.
Also in the case of unlimitedanna:
She flinched when he turned to kiss her. They were divorced within six months.
You know it’s bad if the bride and groom put a disclaimer into their vows, like Owtlaw1 witnessed:
The bride had the minister put “Til death, or divorce, do us part” into the ceremony.
Milliet was lucky to behold one particularly charming groom:
The groom said in his speech “when I joined a dating agency I never thought I’d be so lucky as to find my own personal cook, dishwasher, and washing machine.” Not only is that a sh*tty way to describe ANYONE, he’s in for a nasty surprise when he realises his wife is actually a complete diva and will expect him to do all those things for her! Bad relationship all round.
Sometimes the groom doesn’t even wait until after the wedding to philander, as in the case of jenngraham2012…
Grooms mistress found out he was getting married and showed up at the wedding, in the middle of the i-do’s, walked right up on stage and smacked him in the face.
Groom got caught getting frisky with a bridesmaid. That marriage lasted for about two hours.
Finally, Baltimojane describes the ultimate bridezilla:
The bride, whom I didn’t even know, apparently designated me to help decorate the reception hall prior to the wedding. I went to do so, and her mother was there, telling me in a hushed, scared whisper that I better not mess anything up because the bride would be FURIOUS. Everything was to be a certain way, and if it was wrong, there’d be hell to pay.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt (chalked it up to wedding anxiety) and during the reception I tried to chat with her a bit and she literally rolled her eyes at me. I also didn’t see her look at the groom once at the wedding or the reception.
They were split less than a year later. Later, the groom confided to me and my husband that the morning of the wedding he’d been filled with an overwhelming feeling of dread and spent several hours just sitting on his lawn, thinking, “I shouldn’t do this.” But it was paid for, tons of guests were waiting, lots of family (including us) had come in from out of state, and he felt he had to go through with it. Apparently the bride had a history of being awful and controlling. No clue what made him propose to her in the first place.
Edit: Just Facebook stalked the (ex) bride. Her latest status update is announcing her wedding date with a new guy. Someone “jokingly” asked in the comments if they’ve set a date for the divorce. Oh snap.
And we’ve got just the thing for that new guy. He’s probably going to be saying this himself, pretty soon.
(Via Daily Mail)