Weddings rarely go off without a hitch. No matter how perfect the bride and groom seem for one another (and that’s the best case scenario) you can’t account for say, unexpected guests showing up, one of the bridesmaids getting caught having sex in the bathroom, or a boozy sister of the groom speech going on ad nauseum about how many babies the newly married couple (who plan to remain childless) are going to have.
But those examples are nothing compared to some of the whoppers in this Ask Reddit thread, which asks wedding industry workers: what are the biggest disasters they’ve witnessed? As with a similar topic, in which wedding guests revealed the moment they knew things were heading for divorce, some of these might make you swear you off marriage forever.
Starting us off, GrouchyWaitress recalls a union that is surely headed towards years and years of wedding bliss:
Not a wedding itself, but a small pre-wedding, not rehearsal-dinner with bride, groom, and a few friends doing the tasting menu at my restaurant. Probably halfway through the tasting, one of the managers goes out to the courtyard and hears something… the bride is fucking the groom’s brother at the side of the building. It’s not exactly a very secretive spot. He asked them to please stop as politely as possible and go back inside, which they did. They go back to the table and as far as I know, the groom didn’t find out (that might anyway) but the girl definitely had to notice the entire staff laughing at her for the rest of the night.
The wedding had an all out brawl with 30+ men fighting. It started because one of the grooms-men’s girlfriends was being aggressively hit on by the brides cousin, guy wouldn’t take no as an answer and then he apparently grabbed her ass. And then all hell broke out as each side tried to break it up but then just ended up fighting. The best part the mother of the bride kept screaming she was gonna call all of the guys fighting mothers.
But that brawl still doesn’t sound as entertaining as this one from Lethal_Chandelier:
My partners uncles third marriage (I’m being a bitch describing it like that, he had two failed marriages very young and had been with new wife for 6 years and a great dad to her autistic sons) but an old man fight broke out at like 11pm at the Bogan level hotel function room they’d booked for the reception- literally no-one could figure out how it started as these guys were like mid sixties and had been besties for twenty years but they went at it! Except one fell over and couldn’t get up and the other guy sort of fell on him trying to punch him (but old and drunk) and then the bouncer from the pokies room downstairs had to come try break it up and the old guys were still rolling around and not able to get up easily because drunk and arthritis IDK and huge Polynesian bouncer just roared at them ‘THIS IS MY HOUSE! YOU DO WHAT I SAY IN MY HOUSE!’ And I was quietly dying in the corner as it was the funniest thing I’d seen in forever.
SlicedBread35 on that time a guest tried to hit the jackpot… with the gifts:
In late 2009 I worked in a hotel hosting a wedding reception.
One of the guests was caught trying to steal some of the bride and groom’s presents, and instead of being apologetic, or just leaving, she threw a tantrum (i didn’t understand what she was talking about, as I didn’t know any of the people) then a small fight broke out, and people were escorted from the hotel, as the bride verbally abused two of the security staff.
This one from cindell might make you appreciate your own mother-in-law:
“And now, some words by the mother of the groom”.
“I give them six months”. Mic drop, leaves.
Groom hasn’t talked to her since.
Back2Bach gives the perfect argument for throwing birdseed outside the chapel:
At a church wedding, the Pastor saw that about a dozen people had large bags of confetti to throw at the couple on the church steps following the ceremony.
He warned everyone not to do so because it created a large clean-up mess for the church staff. The priest went on to add, “Throw $20-bills instead, or I’ll withhold the couple’s marriage license until the wedding party cleans it up.”
Well, they threw all the confetti anyway, just to spite the pastor. The several tiers of front steps and sidewalk were plastered with it. And true to his word, he wouldn’t present the license until they got out brooms and trash barrels to clean it up thoroughly.
Meanwhile, the bride left in the limo with tears and her groom livid instead of celebrating their wedding day.
Gonna be waiting on this footage from littleday:
As a wedding videographer, I see many things go wrong behind the scenes, but nothing that major. I nearly lost the rings once…. But the best and funniest one I saw was a bridzillas brides maid knock the whole bridal table off the stage with the main meals just been served with the whole bridal party sitting down to their meals with her huge belly….. as she sat down… her belly knocked the whole table over… as everyone was gasping I was trying not to laugh.
Shit got crazy…. will try find the footage.
And finally, we’ll leave you with this classic tale of wedding guest drunkenness from Tomahawk757:
Went to a wedding with my girlfriend. We were at the “college friends” table. I was still in college and everyone else at the table was about 5 years past their drinking prime. They tried to hang, they got crazy drunk. At the end of the night the bride and groom were going to do a grand exit. I went back to the table to get my jacket my gf asked me to carry one of her friends that was passed out face down on the table. She was about 90lbs soaking wet so I agree. Make it about half way to the grand exit spot the girl wakes up and starts punching me for all she is worth. I trip the girl and me fly into a table destroying it wrestling style. Turns out the bride and groom are right there queuing up to walk out. I congratulate them, beautiful wedding etc. pick up drunk girl over my shoulder and walk out. The drunk friend spent the ride back to the hotel making out with my lower leg. Good times.