Will Airtime Be The Penis-Less Chatroulette We Deserve?

For the three minutes I was on Airtime before I was banned, for inexplicable reasons I’ll get to later, I didn’t see a single penis. So: progress!

When Chatroulette appeared seemingly out of nowhere in 2009, it was exciting; it was an easy, visually-appealing, for its lack of ads, way to video chat with people from all around the world. But the website had two problems: 1) it got too big too quick, and constantly crashed; and 2) all those penises. Seriously, every other click led to a dick – if you spent a mere 30 minutes on Chatroulette, you likely saw as many beef snakes as a mohel does in his entire career. (I would have gone with “porks,” but, y’know…)

Sean Parker and Shawn Fanning, the bros who created Napter (and they are definitely bros), knew the idea was solid, though, and yesterday, they introduced Airtime, the “best and fastest way to video chat with your friends on any platform,” according to Justin Timberlake Parker. It essentially works the same way as Chatroulette, but with a level of accountability. People can still masturbate if they want, but because Airtime connects to your Facebook account, everyone will know who the masturbators are and where they’re from.

They’ll also know exactly what they like, or “Like,” which is Airtime’s biggest gimmick. Say you “Like” UPROXX on Facebook (and if you don’t, the f*ck’s wrong with you? GO), as well as Archer and Breaking Bad. Airtime will find users who also like ocelots and meth, and if you’re lucky, you’ll be connected to a beautiful girl/handsome man and fall in love with them and make babies together. Or you’ll get a typical UPROXX fan, and spend three hours debating Alison Brie v. Gillian Jacobs. (Team Gillian!)

In theory, it’s a neat idea, but because it has to do with Facebook, there’s a setback. According to Gizmodo, in Airtime’s “Privacy Policy,” it basically says that every conversation you have is being recorded and that information will be stored…forever. It’s like your permanent record, but real.

Also, as of right now, the site’s having a lot of technical problems, which might explain why I was banned for no apparent reason. I swear I didn’t have my penis out…yet. Still, I already like it more than Chatroulette. No fake Justin Bieber here.