A Nurse Details The Time A Female Patient Got A Toy Dinosaur Stuck Inside Her Hoo-Ha

A nurse anonymously submitted a story to the Guardian‘s healthcare blog, recounting the time when they were working at a sexual health clinic as a student nurse. In a brief, but entertaining anecdote about the day they got to run the clinic (mostly) by themselves (under the supervision of an attending doctor), the nurse shares that the very first patient had a particularly unique problem, which was initially thought to be thrush:

“So what brings you here today, Mrs T?” I ask, demurely.

“Well” she begins, shifting her position and wincing, “I was playing with my son’s dinosaur, and it’s stuck.”

What followed was the student nurse having to extract a two-inch plastic toy dinosaur from the back of a grown woman’s vagina. Apparently, it was just barely visible over the speculum, and was stuck in there feet first. The toy was eventually removed, and antibiotics were prescribed.

One of the best sentences I have ever uttered as a nurse, scratch that, one of the best sentences I’ve ever said, is: “I don’t advise inserting children’s toys during sexual activity, however if you do choose to masturbate with a toy dinosaur, I recommend buying your own, and perhaps putting it in a condom, or tying a leash to its foot.”

You can read the entire story at the Guardian.