‘You Sacks Of Goat Sperm Had No Idea What You Had’: Restaurant Leaves Best Closure Notice Ever

Despite its three-and-a-half star rating on Yelp, Sava! Italiano was not a success. The Amarillo, TX-based Italian restaurant recently shut down, according to a closure notice outside the building, which reads in full:

You sorry assed, rednecked sacks of goat sperm had no idea what you had here! Good luck with your pre-packaged frozen shit food in this town. Maybe you’ll remember us when you’re boning your sister and think she smells like pasta. We are off to make money in a town whose average IQ is above room temperature! CIAO!!!

Now, as much as I want to believe that everything about this is true, the restaurant’s chef/owner, Mark Coffman, emailed Grub Street about the “nasty joke,” writing, “Yes it was a JOKE… Nobody ever saw it up and it is not up now. It appears somebody put it up, took a pic, and then took it down. We’ve got a cook that’s filed unemployment and we’re fighting it. That’s about all I can figure out at this point.” Sava!’s Facebook page also warns people to, “[Not] believe all you hear and see folks!” Then again, this message is also on their Wall:

“And I thought opening this last restaurant was a chore……….Holy Jesus Jesus McJesusness Jesusinium. It’s supposed to get easier!”

Pray to Jesus Jesus McJesusness Jesusinium hard enough, and you too can call your customers “goat sperm.” (It’s amazing how quick Amy and Samy Bouzaglatell opened a new restaurant under a new name.)

(Via Reddit) (Via)