You’ll Never Guess What A Florida Man Named Edward Cocaine Was Arrested For

News & Culture Writer
04.17.14 7 Comments
A 34-year-old Fort Lauderdale man was arrested for Xanax possession earlier this week, and as he was brought into bond court Wednesday and the bailiff announced his case, the honorable Judge No F*cks Left To Give pretty much lost it when he heard the name of the man: Edward Cocaine.

“What?” uttered a stunned County Judge John “Jay” Hurley.

“My last name is Cocaine,” proudly stated the man at the podium. His name was indeed legal and inscribed on his driver’s license.

“You know, I’d thought I’d seen it all,” Hurley laughed, shaking his head. “How many times have the police told you to step out of the car during your life?”

“Just about every time I get pulled over,” a chuckling Cocaine admitted. “My great-grandparents came over here from Greece and they changed it,” he said. “That was like in the 1920s.”

The judge remained nonplused. “I’m still trying to absorb this,” he said.

You’ll have to click on the next page for the actual video of the judge’s reaction, (due to autoplay) which I recommend that you do as it is hilarious. It’s basically the courtroom equivalent of saying: Let’s shut it down, internet, because nothing better is going to happen today.

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