Having the title of Sexiest Woman Alive bestowed upon you is a little bit like being a Highlander: there can only be one. So, bad news, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Biel, Charlize Theron, Halle Berry, Kate Beckinsale, Minka Kelly, Rihanna, Mila Kunis, and Scarlett Johansson, you’re all dead, because Esquire has named Penelope Cruz the Sexiest Woman Alive, at least for the next 12 months.
After 1,000 words about bullfighters, we get to the writer’s hyperbolic description of Cruz.
She is impossibly beautiful. When she walks into a room, men start walking into furniture. Up close, however, she becomes almost hard to look at, like staring into the most unflattering mirror. When we meet strangers, we begin scanning their faces for their strengths and vulnerabilities, for the lights and scars that will tell us something about who they are and the life they have lived. Cruz has no physical flaws, the bent noses and crooked teeth we would normally use as signifiers. Her face contains no secrets, at least not about her. But her face tells you and the room plenty about you. If you want to feel like the world’s most judged man, sit down at a table in a restaurant with the Sexiest Woman Alive. (Via)
In a way, aren’t we all the Sexiest Woman Alive? (No.) Now that Cruz is basically the president of pretty people, what’s she going to be doing for the next year? Well, she’s currently filming Grimsby, a spy-comedy with Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher. Also, she gets to go home to the Sexiest Hairstyle Alive every night. Lucky.
Check out more photos here.