The New York Times Magazine claims to have polled its readers about whether or not they’d go back in time and kill Hitler. They don’t really outline a plan of action, so we can assume this would be a Terminator-style execution with Arnold Schwarzenegger reclaiming his cyborg style in yet another sequel. The magazine does not provide a link to said poll, they only provide this wee illustrative graphic.
We asked @nytmag readers: If you could go back and kill Hitler as a baby, would you do it? (What's your response?) pic.twitter.com/daatm12NZC
— NYT Magazine (@NYTmag) October 23, 2015
So, 42 percent are down to kill Adolf, 30 percent don’t see the point, and 28 percent are too busy laughing to seriously respond to the question. The entire argument of going back in time is, obviously, a circular one. And as a wise person once pointed out, you’d have a difficult time proving baby Hitler’s identity unless he’d already sprouted a fancy mustache.
Perhaps the New York Times Magazine is trolling its Twittership. Maybe they’ve watched IHOP’s Twitter success and want a slice of that pancake on fleek. The final tweets in this sequence seem to reveal their full intentions, but let’s get to some reactions first. Twitter is shaking its collective head over this one:
Ben Carson: "If baby Churchill had a gun he could have killed baby Hitler."
— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 23, 2015
Never mind this Baby Hitler crap. We need to be addressing if we would go back in time to kill #BabyTwitter
— Keith Olbermann⌚️ (@KeithOlbermann) October 23, 2015
You walk into a room and find baby Hitler stabbed to death. But there's no clues. No murder weapon, no fingerprints. Just a pool of water.
— Dave Bry (@davebry9) October 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/pilotbacon/status/657640056413396992
https://twitter.com/VodkaPundit/status/657646719400824832
https://twitter.com/ditzkoff/status/657650444970409984
What if you kill baby Hitler, and as a result a more competent dictator arose in Germany that won World War 2?
— THE KING OF NIHILISM (@amazingatheist) October 23, 2015
I would feed Baby Hitler to Pizza Rat and flush the internet down the toilet.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) October 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/steverousseau/status/657619877205798912
@NYTmag But guys. Don't you know the rules? You can't go back in your time line! pic.twitter.com/zpEVclCYXd
— Nerdist (@nerdist) October 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/stevekovach/status/657620096660197376
https://twitter.com/ConfusedAlotGuy/status/657620324050059265
https://twitter.com/JohnSHausman/status/657641352348479489
@NYTmag We asked 300 magazine editors: Would you troll?
— Noah Shachtman (@NoahShachtman) October 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/LoganJames/status/657621693700018176
@NYTmag what if time travellers are doing that to babies already?
— Joseph# (@jlebrech) October 23, 2015
@NYTmag I am interested, but do you have any non-baby-killing packages?
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) October 23, 2015
@WhatASydStory @NYTmag any chance to be mean to babies.
— BCC (@ByCommonConsent) October 23, 2015
@NYTmag If your ex Adele called, would you answer?
— Kevin Carr O'Leary (@kevincarroleary) October 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/sharisknight/status/657623886087987200
After all was said and done, the magazine decided to go full-on IHOP.
lol
— NYT Magazine (@NYTmag) October 23, 2015
Then this happened, which indicates that the magazine had a slow news week and wanted to shake things up. It’s rough out there, folks!
