Dear Twitter,
If there's one thing we could ask for from 2017, it wouldn't be "more Twitter."
Thanks,
Stephen— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) November 8, 2017
Something that made Twitter unique and led to its success was its 140-character limit, forcing brevity upon users since 2006. This quickly turned Twitter into a punchline machine for funny people (well, at least until it turned into a spam and propaganda machine for bots and bastards.) Then, back in September, Twitter started testing a 280-character limit for some users.
Although 95% of those test tweets were still under the 140-character limit (and 98% were 190 characters or less), Twitter announced on Tuesday that they’re rolling out the 280-character limit for almost everyone (tweets in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean are still limited to 140 characters).
Meanwhile, some Twitter users pointed out what they really wanted:
twitter: what do you guys want
everyone: get rid of the nazis and fix the report system
twitter: did I hear 280 characters
— Goth Ms. Frizzle (@spookperson) September 26, 2017
https://twitter.com/Sushimibelle/status/928145807030730752
Well, you’re not getting that. You’re getting 280 characters instead. Even though the feature wasn’t particularly popular in the testing phase, they’re still rolling it out.
https://twitter.com/SethAMandel/status/928006743518535681
This clever so-and-so responded by editing Twitter’s announcement for clarity so it would fit the old character limit:
139 characters pic.twitter.com/WkfdXL8oLh
— Caitlin Kelly (@caitlin__kelly) September 26, 2017
Twitter has also instituted a little graphic that completes a circle as you approach the new 280 character limit. This guy suggested a different graphical representation more befitting our dystopian Twitter hellscape:
Good news! Twitter has already replaced that stupid new circle character counter: pic.twitter.com/rcGRozITWh
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) November 8, 2017
But there may be consequences for him:
This is bullshi pic.twitter.com/Ax3rRvNCBE
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) November 7, 2017
Meanwhile, other Twitter users made predictions:
https://twitter.com/jmehough/status/928158810073690112
now that i have 280 characters all tweets to me must be a correctly formatted research paper. paper must include:
-12 pt times new roman
-double spaced
-works cited page
-thesis statement
-footnotes
-full bibliography
-in text citations
-MLA or APA formatting
-Submitted as .docx— alex (@mineifiwildout) November 7, 2017
Self-imposing a 140-character limit, despite now having 280 characters, will be the new vinyl.
— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) November 7, 2017
Some made similar jokes:
https://twitter.com/MissBrittHayes/status/928006851165335560
https://twitter.com/franhoepfner/status/928014406549753856
Others made memes and references:
https://twitter.com/OctopusCaveman/status/928085934704246784
“LANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” #ArcherFXX #280characters
— Archer (@archerfxx) November 7, 2017
Some used the extra characters to ask the important questions:
https://twitter.com/Home_Halfway/status/928030287610765312
https://twitter.com/kibblesmith/status/928025067518398465
Or to share important information:
https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/928013085276884993
https://twitter.com/ItsMegNotMegan/status/928131484229259264
In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories. *DUN DUN*
— 𝐋𝐀𝐖 & 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 (@lawandordertv) November 7, 2017
What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at 15 miles. Your fugitive's name is Doctor Richard Kimble. Go get him.
Maybe 280 is fine.
— anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) November 7, 2017
sorry, no. there's a mistake. Moonlight, u guys won best picture. Moonlight won. this is not a joke. come up here. this a not a joke, i'm afraid they read the wrong thing. this is not a joke. Moonlight has won best picture. Moonlight: Best Picture.
— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) November 7, 2017
https://twitter.com/jrobertlennon/status/912872315993706496
In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortuDAMMIT TOO LONG
— Neil Kleid (@neilkleid) November 8, 2017
https://twitter.com/poniewozik/status/928011829900693506
We all have 280 characters? Well, as Shakespeare wrote, “Brevity is the soul of wit. The soul of wit is what brevity is. Brevity? Soul of wit? They're the same thing. Like if you had brevity in one hand and the soul of wit in the other, you’d be hard pressed to tell them apart.”
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) November 8, 2017
https://twitter.com/martinrickman/status/928021294574129152
Others glimpsed a terrible future of pedantic @-replies:
noooooo twitter look what you’ve done pic.twitter.com/4i4cZz1Oxr
— Natalie Shure (@nataliesurely) November 7, 2017
And some people are already sick of these full sentence tweets like it’s a damn novel or something:
280 characters is like watching people overeat at a buffet purely because they can, and then vomit it up everywhere
— Sarah Kendzior (@sarahkendzior) November 7, 2017
99% of you people don’t even deserve 140 characters.
— John Dingell (@JohnDingell) November 7, 2017
So let me get this straight, humans:
Twitter gave people 280 characters so folks that have nothing to say have more characters to say it with?
I need a nap…#280characters pic.twitter.com/CMhXXL0nGT
— "Mad Cat" Cattis (@GeneralCattis) November 8, 2017
★ ☆。★ ☆ ★
☆。★。☆。★
。☆ 。☆。☆。
★ ☆。 ★。 ☆ ★
☆。★。☆。★
。☆ 。☆。☆
★。＼｜／。★
THIS IS FUCKING
STUPID
★。／｜＼。★
。☆ ☆ ☆ 。
★ ☆。★ ☆ ★
☆。★。☆。★
。☆ 。☆。☆。
★ ☆。 ★。 ☆ ★
☆。★。☆。★— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) November 7, 2017
if you think 280 characters is exciting, try reading a book
— BuzzFeed Books (@BuzzFeedBooks) November 7, 2017
280 characters??!? what is this Game of Throne[AN ENORMOUS TENTACLE RISES FROM THE RAGING SEAS, BLOTTING OUT THE SKY AS IT GRABS AND DRAGS ME DOWN INTO THE OCEAN DEPTHS TO REJOIN THE GODS OF OLD IN THEIR KINGDOM OF UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS LYING JUST BEYOND OUR PLANE OF COMPREHENSION]
— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) November 7, 2017
I only need this many characters to tell you that 280 character Tweets are a bad idea.
— Eamon Javers (@EamonJavers) November 7, 2017
https://twitter.com/runolgarun/status/928152120011800576
twitter feed now looks like a bunch of conversations i am trying to get out of at a party
— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) November 8, 2017
Opening Twitter and seeing the hashtag #280characters trending pic.twitter.com/rs6gW8LPLQ
— Natasha Reda 🦋 (@natreda) November 8, 2017
280 characters? Fuck that.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) November 8, 2017
(Via Twitter)