Frotcast 81: Koi Calls, Best-of-2011 Spectacular with Burnsy, Justin Halpern, Patrick Schumacker

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01.05.12 27 Comments

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

Folks, we had extremely high hopes for this 81st Frotcast, commemorating a full calendar year of Frotcasting. We had:

  • New Koi Calls (that’s when we leave prank messages to a local koi merchant), the Frotcast’s most popular segment (5-minute mark)
  • Burnsy’s best of the year, including best reality show contestant (pictured), best movie line of the year, best sign of the apocalypse, and best song of the year (guess).(17 minutes) Brendan also does both his Chris Berman and Jon Gruden impressions. (32 minutes)
  • Patrick Schumacker regales us with his top 10 headlines of the year (38 minutes), such as “She flies with her own wings.”
  • ShitMyDadSays’s Justin Halpern gives us his top 10 things he overheard from the all-women’s halfway house across the street from his house (53 minutes), such as “Is this where you throw your c*nts, bitch?”

After that, Joe King gave us his pitches for fictional movies, Lindy West ran down the year in monkey attacks, and Laremy explained his top 10 things he cooked. It was really funny, and this was supposed to be a two-part, super Frotcast. UNFORTUNATELY, Garage Band took a dump on us, and the second part of this Frotcast was forever lost to history. It’s… really depressing, actually. But there’s not a lot I can do about it now. Apologies to Lindy, Joe, and Laremy, hopefully we can try it again soon.


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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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