Well, PETA has responded to the gamer blowback, and it turns out the only person you should be upset with is yourself for not having a sense of humor. After the jump PETA media coordinator Shakira Croce helpfully explains why this whole controversy is actually your fault…
“Mario fans: Relax! PETA’s game was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, a fun way to call attention to a serious issue, that raccoon dogs are skinned alive for their fur. We wish real-life tanukis could fly or swat enemies away with their tails and escape from those who profit from their skins. You can help them by never buying real fur.”
See? It was all just a joke! Although you should still definitely feel terrible about animals being skinned alive. Definitely. Also, apparently the folks at PETA continue to confuse the legendary flying creature Mario’s suit is based on with real-life animals. I could throw Kanye West’s Twitter feed into a food processor and come out with something less garbled than this response.
Listen PETA, it’s time to decide what kind or organization you want to be. You’d never catch a Third World aid organization making a stupid parody game where Kirby eats African kids’ food. You’d never see the American Cancer Society launch an “I’d rather show my tits than not get a mammogram” advertising campaign. Why? Because they realize these kind of publicity stunts can only belittle their cause. PETA’s core message is supposedly “humans and animals are equals, and thus the ethical treatment of animals is a serious issue”, but your own treatment of the issue is anything but serious. It’s a good thing your animal pals can’t talk, because they might have a thing or two to say about your irreverent attitude towards their suffering.
But maybe I’m wrong, maybe stupid parody video games are the way to go and the issue is just that PETA is choosing the wrong games to target. Mario and Cooking Mama are about as inoffensive as games get — if PETA wants to make a stand we’ve got some more suitable games for them to tackle. Hit page two to find out what they are.
Games that Actually Deserve the PETA Parody Treatment
Red Dead Redemption – So PETA thinks we should be outraged by Mario wearing the equivalent of a child’s teddy bear pyjamas, but this goes without comment by them?
Cabela’s Hunting games – These games are nothing but shooting furry woodland creatures in the face. Also, lately the development teams behind the games have been infiltrated by crazy people who think nature is out to murder us all.
Harvest Moon series – Succeeding in these games means exploiting your collection of livestock non-stop for wool, milk and eggs. Sure, you can do the “free range” thing and let them wander outside if you want, but you get about the same results if you leave them cooped up in the barn. You can even give your animals a whack or two with your axe without the game penalizing you much.
More like “Island of Hellish Animal Exploitation“!
Sonic the Hedgehog (2006 version) – This game boldly went where no Sonic game had gone before — human/hedgehog romance. Surely PETA is against bestiality, right? Probably? Hmmmm.
What games do you guys think actually have the PETA parody treatment coming? Just want to list your top 5 tastiest animals? Or maybe you’re a card carrying PETA member and want to explain how we here at GammaSquad are missing the joke. Leave a comment below!
PETA response via Kotaku