Here Is Everything Rihanna Says in 'Battleship'

05.21.12 4 years ago • 15 Comments

Did you think we were done with being snarky about movies based on board games? We aren’t, so of course we’ll point out that The Avengers was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend, grossing $55M in its third week to Battleship‘s disappointing $25.3M opening. Both movies had similar budgets. Somewhere, Taylor Kitsch should really be smacking his agent. The dude has potential, but he’s only had one movie score above 50% on Rotten Tomatoes (John Carter at 52%).

But that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to read every line of dialogue Rihanna utters in Battleship. Because if you’re going to stuntcast a pop star, you’ll at least give them some memorable lines, right? Yeah, about that . . .

Rihanna’s film debut is a memorable one. The Barbadian singer is wet for much of Battleship, her Navy uniform is uncommonly flattering, and the majority of her dialogue is composed of exclamations. It’s a veritable master class in one-line utterances. Most of her lines fall into one of several categories: sassy (“Get up, princess!”), confused (“What the hell is that?”) or surprisingly competent (“Contact two miles out.”) [Vulture]

She had a total of 68 lines of dialogue, not quite enough to fill a novella (ella, ella, eh, eh, eh). Um, anyway, here are all 68 lines.

  • “What’s wrong with you drama queen?
  • “Get up princess! Come on!”
  • “Typical”
  • “Shut up. Shut up.”
  • “Oh, this gon’ be sweet. He hates the man.”
  • “You go mess with him and see what happens!”
  • “Chicken!”
  • “Kentucky Fried Chicken!”
  • “You look like Colonel Sanders, actually.”
  • “Yo Saunders, ever been in a department run by some kind of Donald Trump/Mike Tyson mutant combo?”
  • “Nothing, sir.”
  • “If you did, it was only in reference to the fact the you both project great physical intensity, sir.”
  • “I got something sir, on my camera.”
  • “I don’t know.”
  • “Is this some kind of exercise?”
  • “You ever seen anything like this?”
  • “Weird, man.”
  • “Real bad idea, Lieutenant.”
  • “Lieutenant, get up.”
  • “Lieutenant.”
  • “Come on, you with me?”
  • “Come on, squared away?”
  • “What the hell is that?”
  • “Ahhhhhhh!”
  • “Ahhhhhhh!”
  • “What happened?”
  • “What?”
  • “Who’s in charge?”
  • “Fire control’s offline. I need three minutes.”
  • “(Heavy sigh)”
  • “My dad said they’d come. Said it my whole life. He said one day we’d find them, or they’d find us. Know what else he said? He said, I hope I ain’t around when that day comes.”
  • “No sir!”
  • “Nothing sir, nothing.”
  • “Yo, hey!”
  • “Come on, come on, come on.”
  • “Mahalo, motherfu—”
  • “What the hell is that?”
  • “Sir.”
  • “Roger, Echo 1-1.”
  • “Box 24. Ready to fire.”
  • “India 3-7, locked.”
  • “Sir, we’re hot over here. We’re good to go, let’s light ‘em up.”
  • “Tango 1-9, loaded.”
  • “Whiskey 2-5.”
  • “Negative, sir, it’s moving all over the place. I can’t get a line on it.”
  • “Sucker’s really jumping around.”
  • “40 minutes sir.”
  • “Contact is seven minutes out and closing fast.”
  • “Contact two miles out.”
  • “Contact ETA 21 seconds.”
  • “Boom.”
  • “Yeah!”
  • “Get up!”
  • “Let’s go!”
  • “Go, go, go!”
  • “Yes, sir.”
  • “Oh yes sir.”
  • “Awesome.”
  • “Sir, we’ll be in weapons range in 5 minutes.”
  • “Aimed at target.”
  • “Sir, that’s the wrong direction!”
  • “Sir.”
  • “Coordinates.”
  • “Elevation.”
  • “Come on, take the picture, Beast.”
  • “Navy!”
  • “Come on, Hopper!”
  • “Look dapper!”

Powerful stuff.

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