Hey, it's Latin Night! I guess that means lots of samba, rumba and possibly cha cha cha, but it also means Ricky Martin, who is looking pretty good, right? Even if he is wearing those drop-crotch pants. I think if you're old enough to remember Hammer time, you may want to pass on the trend, but hey, he can carry it off. He really does look phenomenal for his age. He's also going to be judging. Tom Burgeron asks Ricky Martin what he's looking for in the performances, and he wants passion and engagement. Works for me!
Oh, wait, before the fun starts, Tom wants us to know that Danica broke a rib, but that's not slowing her down! Um… I would think maybe that should slow her down? Poor duck.
Anyway, enough about Danica's suffering — let's make some couples nervous! Our first three couples await bad news. The first couple safe is…Danica & Val. James & Peta… are in jeopardy. Amy & Derek are safe, and they're dancing first.
Amy & Derek
The Background: She's been in a longterm relationship with a great guy, but she never gets to see him. And they can't fulfill one another's needs. So, make your move, Derek! Sorry, that's unkind, but really, if I were dating someone on this show I'd stay nearby. Anyway, Amy is stressed out and sad and overwhelmed, so Derek gets goofy. She loves it! He's her cheerleader! They'll be dancing a rumba.
The Dance: This needs a little more snap, but I don't think I can judge her on that. Because feet. Still, it's smoldering and gorgeous. She really deserves to make it to the end, I think.
The Judges: Len thought it was first class. Bruno thought it was sensuous and had a wonderful sense of courtship. Carrie Ann thinks she's darn sexy, but her foot came off the ground. What? She blames Derek and tells him he doesn't have to give her choreography that puts her at risk of lifts. Ricky couldn't take his eyes off of her and thought it was clean, passionate and well done.
The Scores: Carrie Ann – 9 Rick – 9 Len – 9 Bruno – 9
James & Peta
The Background: There are only two guys left in the game. Wow, I didn't even realize! Anyway, Peta doesn't want to say whether or not they're dating. James is more comfortable saying they're trying to keep it platonic. Yeah, they're dating.
The Dance: Wow, she is just wearing underwear. So, it's hot. He takes off his shirt. There is grinding. So, very classy.
The Judges: Bruno thought it was dirty. Carrie Ann thinks their chemistry is beyond sick. Ricky thinks they took it to the next level and it was surprising again and again. Len thought Peta was a little overdressed, he would have liked more hip action, and the footwork needed help, but it was fun.
The Scores. Carrie Ann – 9 Ricky – 9 Len – 8 Bruno – 9
Danica & Val
The Background: He wants her to challenge Meryl, and during practice something snaps. She cries in the women's bathroom. She feels so weak! This is not okay! The doctor tells her to stop moving around. So, she's dancing. Of course.
The Dance: She doesn't look miserable, so I hope that means she's on lots of painkillers. I love that hair! This isn't great, in that it's a little stiff, but jeez, she's got a broken rib. I'm amazed she's getting around at all.
The Judges: Carrie Ann thinks she managed well, but she wasn't able to get down and dirty. Ricky asks her how she feels, and she says, “A little sore.” Ricky has mad respect for her even performing. Len thinks there was a little salsa and a lot of music video, but overall well done. Bruno thinks she was ghetto fabulous salsa-from-the-hood, but she wasn't able to use all her body because of the injury.
The Scores: And the Slingbox goes out. Damn. They may not be great. Because she broke a rib!
Oh, and Amy is now injured — she somehow injured herself during the dance. This means she won't be able to perform during the group dance. Yikes!
The next four couples. Candace & Mark are safe. Wha? The next couple in jeopardy is… Charlie & Sharna. No! Meryl & Maks… are safe. NeNe & Tony are in jeopardy, and they'll be dancing next.
The show has asked Twitter to decide whether or not Tony should take his shirt off. Duh, American wants nudity. Surprise, 90 percent of tweets say off with the shirt!
NeNe & Tony
The Background: She says they're going to walk out there and own it. Tony wanted to give her a chance to perform with lots of cute dancers, which she seems to enjoy. She's going to bring some Nay-Nay, which is the flip side of NeNe. Yes, all of us who watch “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” know what Nay-Nay means. Hopefully no one gets hit.
The Dance: This seems so slow, and her footwork! Oh, that isn't even a flick. It's just a flop. I see no Nay-Nay, unless Nay-Nay's leg has fallen asleep.
The Judges: Ricky appreciated that she took a moment to get into character. He thought she floated on stage. Len thought she sold it, but she needs to work on technique. Bruno thinks she has to work on her gauchos. Carrie Ann thought the walk was a ten, but there wasn't a lot of dynamic movement in the dance itself.
The Scores: Carrie Ann – 8 Ricky – 8 Len – 7 Bruno – 8
Amy talks about her injuries, just so we know she's really suffering. There's something a little sadistic about this stage in the competition, isn't there? She's off to the hospital, because it's hard for her to breathe and her back cracked. Yikes! They'll be using footage of the dress rehearsal dance for the group dance, which has happened only once before in “DWTS” history.
Charlie & Sharna
The Background: He decides to talk to Meryl about what he can bring to the performance to get all tens. The secret is… Maks? Oh, he can't use Maks. Anyway, Meryl tells him to try hard and do his best and blah blah blah. So, Charlie is going to tap into his impatience for straight tens.
The Dance: This is really good, but did he trip a little? This isn't as fierce as it could be, but it's still solid.
The Judges: Len thinks you have to do something special for a ten, and this wasn't it. Bruno thinks he messed things up. Carrie Ann thinks he smooths over the edges that need to be sharp. Ricky sees what the other judges are saying, but he was loving the moment. He thought it was sensual and beautiful.
The Scores: Carrie Ann – 9 Ricky – 10 Len – 8 Bruno – 9
Candace & Mark
The Background: They visit a sports psychologist to help Candace with her performance anxiety. The psychologist tells her she's probably a type A personality and she has to learn to let go. Candace doesn't want to disappoint Mark, and she feels she's let him down. Tears.
The Dance: This was hot! She really nailed some of the moves — but I think she froze during at least one segment. Still, she recovered, so that's good. She's improved so much, I'd hate to see her go — and she's not going to, at least not this week.
The Judges: Bruno thought it was definitely Argentine tango. Carrie Ann saw the confidence but she may have forgotten two bits of choreography. Ricky thought her lines were amazing. Len thought there was no messing about, and it was hot.
The Scores: Carrie Ann – 8 Ricky – 9 Len – 9 Bruno – 9
Meryl & Maks
The Background: Maks is sure Meryl can get down and dirty. Until that happens, he's happy to say horrible things to her. She appreciates his honesty! She thinks they're connecting on a personal level! I think they need to get married, because Maks will never be loved this much again.
The Dance: This is crazy fast and just so good. She's sharp, she's precise, and surprisingly sexy. She and Maks generate some heat!
The Judges: Carrie Ann is blown away. She turned into a whole different beast. Ricky thinks it gets better and better with these two. It was amazing! Len think it got too involved with the whole production, and he found it too hectic. Bruno thinks Meryl is the leader of the gang, and she bangs.
The Scores: Carrie Ann – 10 Ricky – 10 Len – 9 Bruno – 10
So, she's winning this season, right?
Ah, the team competition, which should be interesting. Charlie and Meryl are the team leaders. Ah, poor Candace gets picked last.
Team Vida is NeNe & Tony, James & Peta and Charlie & Sharna.
Team Loca is Meryl & Maks, Candace & Mark, Danica & Val and Amy & Derek.
Team Vida (aka Team Jeopardy, because these three couples are at the bottom)
The Dance: Team Vida is wearing the ugliest outfits ever. That being said, NeNe is the weak link here. Her footwork is just so sloppy. James and Charlie are really, really polished. They're just really far away from one another. That's not on purpose, is it?
The Judges: Ricky wants to go on the road with them. Len thinks they coped with doing two dances well. Bruno thinks the energy was incredible, but the synch needed work. Carrie Ann also loved the energy, but thought Charlie and James were in their own worlds.
The Scores: Carrie Ann – 8 Ricky – 10 Len – 8 Bruno – 9
The Dance: This does seem a little more relaxed, since it is a rehearsal, but it's still so much better than Team Vida. So fun, so lively, and even though some of the moves seem a little too loose, it's just a better routine.
The Judges: Carrie Ann has never seen a tighter group performance. Ricky thought they were outstanding. Len thinks it was fantastic. The dress rehearsal footage is a little different but what he saw was fantastic. Bruno thought it was flick spectacular showstopper. He wishes there was a results show just for this.
The Scores: Carrie Ann – 10 Ricky – 10 Len – 9 Bruno – 10
So, Team Loca won. Because Meryl & Maks.
Time to send someone home, waah waah. The next couple safe is… Charlie & Sharna. Phew! And… NeNe and Tony are going home. She made it a lot further than her ability warranted, I have to say. She is proud of NeNe Leakes.
Tony thinks NeNe brought a wonderful attitude? Hahahahaha!
It's just getting tougher at this stage in the competition, and with two celebs injured, what happens next week? Time will tell, I suppose.
Do you think it was time for NeNe to go? Are you surprised there's only two men left on the show? Who do you think has improved the most?