By some strange twist of fate in the year 1980, two bouncing baby girls named Michelle Williams were born, both of whom would go on to achieve fame and fortune – one as a universally-adored Oscar-nominated actress, the other as the third banana in an R&B girl group called Destiny’s Child.
To make sense of this madness, we here at RIOT have developed an ongoing feature entitled “Michelle Williams vs. Michelle Williams,” which will highlight the lives and careers of both Michelle Williamses week-by-week and then rank their accomplishments on a scale we’ve imaginatively dubbed the “Michelle-o-Williams Hotness Meter.” In this first edition, we look at the week of June 24-30, in which Michelle Williams cozies up to her new boyfriend, has a wardrobe malfunction at the BET Awards, and totally supports Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s new baby. So which Michelle Williams did what? And which of them made the bigger impression? Enrich your life with our full breakdown below.
Score this week: 40/100
The pixie-haired “My Week with Marilyn” star made only a moderate splash last week, though her budding romance with the not-famous Brooklyn artist Dustin Yellin did get some media coverage. “It was clear Dustin was her boyfriend and she is seriously into him,” a very lonely individual with 19 cats told OK! Magazine. “They were showing so much affection. They were together all weekend without Matilda.” Also, her new drama that probably nobody’s going to see started shooting in Europe. Sigh. Doesn’t Michelle Williams know no one cares about WWII anymore?
Score this week: 70/100
One thing about living in the shadow of Beyonce and Kelly Rowland is, you can get your name in the paper just by mentioning them to reporters. Such was the case this week with Michelle Williams the singer, who was on a whirlwind promotional tour for her new single “If We Had Your Eyes,” which is not on any charts. Among the celebrities she name-checked were Beyonce, who can “do it all,” according to Michelle Williams, and Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s new baby North West, whose ridiculous name she wholeheartedly approves of. Most importantly, the singer apparently sported an enormous brown stain on the back of her white dress at Sunday night’s BET Awards. Win!