Welcome to another Anything Can Happen Thursday (April 21) on “American Idol.” Last night’s recap predicted that Haley would go home, but several commenters disagreed. So who knows what might happen?
I certainly don’t.
Click through for the full recap…
8:00 p.m. ET Thursday’s results show begins with an oddly kaleidoscopic intro that may be slightly inspired by “Tron,” but probably isn’t.
8:02 p.m. Thigh high boots on America’s Most Beautiful Woman tonight.
8:03 p.m. We had over 52 million votes cast last night. Sure, that’s fewer than last week (for fewer contestants), but who’s counting?
8:04 p.m. “Dude, I don’t know,” is Randy Jackson’s intelligent response when Ryan Seacrest asks who’s going home tonight. “I hope it’s not a girl,” J-Lo responds. “I’m gonna give Trey, the editor back there, something to worry about,” vows Steven Tyler.
8:05 p.m. Oh. You know what the world needs? Another bland cover of “Hey Soul Sister.” Thanks, Jacob Lusk, Lauren Alaina, Stefano Langone and Haley Reinhart. This is a song that started off cheesy — Catchy as hell, but still cheesy — and has only become more and more cheesy in progressive iterations. This is the song at its cheesiest. You haven’t lived till you’ve seen Jacob and Lauren do a corny piece of swing dancing to a Train song. So now we’ve lived, “Idol” fans.
8:11 p.m. It’s not a Ford Music Video. It’s a commercial. Calling it something different doesn’t make it anything other than what it is.
8:13 p.m. Casey Abrams, Scotty McCreery and James Durbin are trioed up to sing “Viva La Vida.” Remember how great Casey and Haley were last week? I do. I just wanted to leave you with that happy memory, because these three are horrible together. They can’t sing harmony together. Heck, they can’t even put their hands into the middle to do a cheer. FOX has been so good to Gwyneth Paltrow’s career, making her likable again on “Glee.” Why are they doing this horrible thing to her husband’s music? Was this the deal she made? Is Rupert Murdoch the Devil?
8:15 p.m. Jacob gets to respond to last night’s “diva” accusations. He vows revenge and ends with “But we all love each other.” Suuuuure you do, Jacob. Apparently Scotty’s hometown has named a cupcake after him. [It comes tilted sideways and is only available in one flavor?] And a Casey fan has done an oil painting of The Bearded One, his guitar and his dog.
8:17 p.m. Let’s get some results! Casey and Jacob stand up. “I was just gonna breathe in her face, but she gave me an opening,” Casey says of the decision to kiss J-Lo last night. Jacob tries to explain his in-ear error from last night. Casey is safe. Jacob, however, is sent to the Stools of Shame. He’s the first person in our Bottom Three this week. Yup. That makes sense. I predicted Casey might also fall into the Bottom Three, but I’m very pleased he didn’t.
8:24 p.m. David Cook has an album coming out on June 28. Here’s his first single. It’s called “The Last Goodbye.” It’s… generic. I like the background shots that don’t frame out the Top 7 and their difficulties figuring out what they’re supposed to be doing to the song. They’re not exactly dancing. They’re not exactly clapping along. They’re mostly standing there. Awkwardly.
8:27 p.m. David’s looking very fit. He’s doing the Race for Hope in DC next month. Proceeds go to a brain cancer research charity he’s been actively involved with for years. Here’s a link.
8:33 p.m. Amongst all of the hard work, the Top 7 got “time off” to go to a Dodgers game. They watched from a nice luxury box and met Tommy Lasorda. They also went bowling. Haley has surprisingly good bowling form. James and Casey to not. They also get a spa day, which includes James giving Stefano a back-rub and Scotty getting a manicure.
8:36 p.m. Jacob’s still alone over at the Stools of Shame. That’s about to change, though. Lauren, James and Stefano come down into the spotlight. Lauren vows to challenge herself if she gets brought back for another week. James reports that Matt Bellamy from Muse loved his cover. Randy says that Stefano was really good last night and deserves to stay out of the Bottom Three. Nobody cares what Randy says, because Stefano is, indeed, in the Bottom Three. Oh well. That was my mistake for assuming the judges’ excessive praise would give Stefano a week off from the Bottom Three pressure. Lauren and James are both safe, of course.
8:38 p.m. That leaves Scotty and Haley waiting it out for that last Bottom Three place. It’s gotta be Haley, right? It is, indeed, Haley. Scotty’s safe.
8:40 p.m. Haley’s barely gotten comfortable at the stools when Ryan asks her to come with him. “You’re safe,” he reassures her. Yay! I’m perfectly happy to have gotten this week’s prediction wrong. And yes, that means that “Idol” is about to eliminated a male contestant for the second consecutive week. Crazy, right?
8:44 p.m. Welcome the ubiquitous Katy Perry… Oh. Is this video what the opening graphics were mimicking? Apparently. That’s what I get for not watching Katy’s “ET” video. Oh look. It’s an unbilled appearance by Kanye West. They didn’t say this was a live performance, did they? I’m assuming this Psychedelia For Dummies stage show is one of those previously tapped appearances.
8:48 p.m. Yeah, if it were live, Ryan would be glad-handing with Katy on stage. Instead, he’s backstage gabbing with Stefano and Jacob.
8:53 p.m. Time to end this thing. Who’s going home?
8:53 p.m. Seacrest puts Jennifer Lopez on the spot. “It’s not the end of the road for them,” she predicts. Randy agrees that they deserve “big props.” Asked if these two deserve to be standing there, Tyler responds, “None of them deserve to be standing there.” Steven is unclear how this show works. He’s also unclear how many people watch this show, referencing the “50 million” figure (votes cast) as the “Idol” audience. James Durbin is very sad to see Stefano go.
8:55 p.m. The person leaving us tonight is… Stefano Langone. After several weeks of standing next to the season’s most shocking bootees, this was as right a time as any for Stefano to go home.
8:57 p.m. Stefano departs with a big smile and a terrific attitude. Good for him. Like Paul last week, Stefano’s completely at ease with the whole elimination thing and he gives a relaxed, tear-free departure performance before getting a huge hug from the still-emotional James.
9:00 p.m. And before we depart for the night, I ask you this question: Why does the “American Idol” voting audience hate men?
9:00 p.m. Yes. That was a joke.
Are you OK with Thursday’s results?