While I will say that the dancing is exponentially better this season, there were still a few shaky performances to be singled out from last night — Joey, Kirstie and Bristol all struggled a bit, though I couldn’t say any one of them was bad. Well, Bristol and Kirstie struggled a lot — but as we well know, that doesn’t mean much this season (or any season), as people vote for the personalities they like. Really, there’s almost no reason to watch the show, right? Just kidding.
The judges request a repeat performance from Sabrina and Louis dance their bam-alam quick step. Sabrina is so shocked! Wow, why would that happen? Because she had the highest rated performance the night before? Oh, yeah. That’s it.
Our first four couples are on the block. Joey and Kym are up first. I do love that they performed to a wacky, 1920s version of “Loser.” They share the podium with Emmit & Cheryl, Sabrina & Louis and Drew & Anna. Dramatic music and… clips from last night. Most of which we’ve already seen.
Does this really need to be an hour?
Anyway, we finally get to semi-eliminations after the commercial break. First couple safe? Sabrina & Louis! Emmit & Cheryl? Also safe! It’s down to the N’Sync boys. Drew & Anna are… safe! Joey & Kym are in jeopardy. Waah-waah. Granted, he wasn’t great last night. Funny, but not great.
Tom announces some sad, bad news. Two couples are going home next week! It’s a double elimination! And the week after, because there are only so many all-stars, no one will be going home. But that isn’t as exciting. Wow — the double elimination will be for the week the celebrities are their own “creative directors.” Well, at least the pros won’t feel guilty about the results.
Time to move on to our next celebs. Bristol is excited but nervous about next week. She will be bossing around Mark when it’s usually the other way around! She is rocking some awesome glasses, by the way.
Kelly is focused on the positive — if she survives next week, she catches a break the week after, and she’s thrilled about getting time off. As for Kirstie, she can’t wait to do the cha cha! Yes, Kirstie loves her the sexy dances.
Time for a musical interlude. Cher Lloyd performs “I Want U Back.” It’s a peppy dance song, so lots of background dancers and jugglers on stilts. This is all a fairly good distraction from the obvious problem that Cher can’t dance. Cher seems to be struggling with shaking her hips from side to side, honestly.
Time for a clip package! The pros are feeling a lot of pressure. They want their stars to stay in the game, but it’s much harder to do this season. The great part of this package? Mark admits, “I know Bristol is not the best dancer.” Well, no. We all knew that, but it’s good to hear him say it, albeit in a very careful and measured way.
Then, it’s Macy’s Stars of Dance. It’s all very well and good, but I used to like these interludes because they showed how real dancers do it. This season, don’t even need it.
But that doesn’t mean we’re not getting plenty of it! There’s an hour to fill, people! The dance troupe returns with special guests, recreating memorable, iconic dances from past seasons. I keep thinking, given that the routines are by Helio, Kendra Wilkinson and Ricki Lake, one of them might be the special guest. Heck, Helio’s right there. But, no. That would be too obvious.
Next, we have Shawn & Derek, Bristol & Mark, Kirstie & Maks and Kelly & Val on the block. Shawn felt great after her dance, though Derek was winded. That would be the advantage of being paired with an Olympian and not, say, Kirstie Alley. Bristol, who came in at the bottom, thinks she’ll get sixes no matter what. Well, no. I don’t think the judges are trying to ruin her or anything. There’s no “DWTS” conspiracy, Bristol. But the bar has gone up — her version of vastly improved just isn’t that good. Kirstie is sure she’s on the show to inspire people. To… what? Lose weight and gain weight and lose weight and gain weight? Be a Scientologist? What? Kelly jokes around. She seems like the most fun of the dancers this season, really.
Shawn & Derek are safe. Kirstie and Maks are safe. Kelly & Val are in jeopardy. No! Bristol & Mark are safe. Seriously?
Another musical interlude! Placido Domingo will team up with Katherine Jenkins, a former “DWTS” finalist. Man, she’s so talented it’s sick. And I’m sure she looks better in a sparkly dress than Placido.
Then, it’s time for our final four couples. Last night, Helio & Chelsie were happy, Melissa & Tony were sweaty, and Gilles was kind of freaking out before he performed. And he said cleavlage, which is so cute when it’s coming from Gilles. Oh, and Apolo thought he did a great job, which he did.
The next couple safe is… Gilles & Peta. Melissa & Tony are… safe. That leaves two former champions — Apolo & Karina are… safe. Helio & Chelsie are… in danger. I find that so, so hard to believe.
I really do wonder how the producers manipulate who shows up in the bottom.
So, our final three couples are Joey & Kym, Kelly & Val and Helio & Karina. Kelly & Val are safe. Phew! But I’m not thrilled with the bottom three being two winners and a semi-finalist, really. There are better choices.
The bad news: Joey & Kym are going home. Joey being Joey, he’s fine with it. He’s going to a wedding tomorrow, so he’ll have fun and won’t have to practice! That’s the right attitude. Hey, it’s all-stars. Somebody’s got to go.
Do you think it was Joey’s time? Who do you think is the frontrunner? What do you think of the season so far?