Recap: The newbies forge new alliances on ‘Big Brother’

I thought the veterans might be sunk after Evel Dick left the show (not only did they lose a great strategist, they were even further down in numbers), but go figure – a few of the newbies are bending to their will. With Jordan as HOH, this should be a cakewalk. At least until Big Brother throws another twist into the game. The problem is, we will need another twist unless we just want to watch the newbies get picked off like so many ticks off a dog’s back.

 

After Keith’s exit, the newbies wander around, shellshocked. Dominic feels like he’s been shanked! Yeah, that’s the game, sweetie. Lotsa shanking. Adam knows he can’t trust anyone! You’re not supposed to! Lawon is as furious as a volcano on a hot day in Hawaii getting ready to erupt! There are so, so many logistical things wrong with that statement, but anyway, you get the idea. Everyone’s very upset except for Kalia and Shelly, who are doing their best to act upset.

 

Meanwhile, Rachel is thanking her lucky stars that the newbies are idiots. No kidding. It’s almost as if they haven’t watched the show before, or they thought they were watching the show but they were actually tuned in to “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.”

 

A few of the newbies gather to determine who the rat is. Keep your heads down, Kalia and Shelly. But they don’t have to worry, as Adam unwittingly presents himself as the rat. Even though Adam voted with the newbies, he tells everyone that Evel Dick made him an offer, which he pretended to take, but he didn’t really. Adam! This does not instill trust! Because Dominic is understandably pissed that his partner seems to be the rat, he walks out of the room. For that reason, Adam and thinks Dominic is the rat. I’m sure Shelly and Kalia are laughing their asses off, but on the inside.  

 

Dominic decides to go make nice with Jeff. He asks Jeff who he wanted to leave. Jeff plays dumb, because he isn’t entirely stupid. You cannot game the veterans, Dominic!

 

Dominic and Cassi talk. They trust one another. They also trust Shelly. Errrr! Wrong answer! Elsewhere, Shelly tells Adam to play individually. Adam nods. He doesn’t seem to put it together that Shelly is also playing an individual game. Cassi tells Dominic to cut a deal with the veterans. Dominic agrees. He wants to cut a deal with Daniele. And why does he want to cut a deal with Daniele? Because he trusts her! Sigh.

 

In the kitchen, Cassi doesn’t suck up to Rachel. In fact, she ignores her. She showed Rachel! That she is stupid and petty! Um, good going, Cassi.  

 

Jordan shows off her HOH room. Everyone acts like baby pictures and goopy letters from home are SO WONDERFUL!

 

That evening, the vets do their best to be charming. Brendon wears his super hero outfit. Dominic, seeing an opportunity to be equally charming, slaps on a towel as a cape and battles with Dominic over Franklin, the house plastic turtle. This is what people do without television.  

 

Adam decides he must kiss up to Jordan and Jeff. And how does he do this? He tells them that he voted to evict Porsche. Adam! Why? Why? Why so honest? Jeff isn’t sure he can trust him. No kidding! Adam has done everything wrong he can do wrong this week. He’s trying to play a straight game, which is fine, but he’s revealing wayyyyy too much.

 

Dominic makes a deal with Daniele. I think he believes Daniele has more pull with Jeff and Jordan than she really does. Yes, they have an alliance, but Jordan has her own mind, too.

 

It’s the have/have not competition. Jordan is dressed like an ant, so, it’s an ant theme. Lawon is not gonna eat slop! Two people are squeezed into one ant costume, which looks uncomfortable. Dominic is mashed against Adam. Dominic is not happy. Each ant must grab a food crumb and drag it back to its ant hill while they are sprayed with ketchup and mustard and what might be baked beans. “Big Brother” must have a standing account with Smart and Final.

 

Rachel and Brendon take an early lead. They win by a hair. But wait! Kalia is sobbing and in pain. Did she break her arm? Luwan is on top of her, but she won’t let him move. A medic comes and cuts Luwan off of Kalia. This actually looks bad. Until we realize Kalia’s just fine. I think Kalia was really just sobbing and crying because she can’t stand another week of slop. I’d say she’s being a whiner, but that stuff looks nasty.

 

Anyway, Brenchel (Brachel? Whatever) chooses Dominic and Adam as well as Cassi and Shelly to eat slop for the week. They also get beef jerky and jelly beans. Adam’s psyched. Dominic hates both jerky AND jelly beans. Dominic may not be one of the stronger physical players for long at this rate.

Dominic talks to Jordan and Jeff. He wants to play with them because his back’s against the wall. Well, that’s one way to convince them – desperation. Jeff says he has to vote his way 100 percent. Dominic nods desperately. Jordan isn’t buying it. She doesn’t trust Dominic. And she shouldn’t. If Dominic gets voted out, he has to go home and live with his mom again. That means clean laundry, good food and a miserable dating life.

 

Cassi goes to talk to Jeff and Jordan. She wants to avoid the block. Promises are made. Jeff and Jordan haven’t made a decision yet. Of course not! We have to fill an hour-long show, ya know!

 

Daniele, good as her word, makes a case for Dom to Jeff and Jordan. Daniele thinks they can manipulate Dom and thinks Cassi should go home. Jeff and Jordan seem to take this very seriously. Come on, Jordan! Don’t keep Dominic! He’s physically strong, and at this stage in the game, that’s the last thing you want.

 

It’s time for nominations. Jordan says her alliance is saying one thing, but her gut is saying another. Follow your gut, Jordan!

 

She pulls Rachel and Brendon. They’re safe.

Shelly and Cassi are safe.

Kalia and Lawon are safe.

 

Good for Jordan! Adam and Dominic are on the block. She tells them it’s just strategic, which it clearly is. Even putting people on the block, Jordan is adorable. There’s a reason why she won this game before, and I wouldn’t rule out the chance she’ll do it again.  

 

Adam hopes Jordan isn’t lying to him. Dominic will throw Adam under the bus if he has to. I don’t think he’ll get the chance. But, as they always say in the Big Brother house, no one’s ever safe and everything can change in an instant. I’ll be curious to see who wins the power of veto. But if it’s the ultimate power couple (Brenchel, Brachel, whatever), I’m guessing Dominic should pack a bag. At least he won’t have to eat slop anymore.