Say what you want about Reddit‘s sometimes sketchy capacity for telling the truth, but this story seems awkwardly real. The original poster even created a throwaway account to insulate the confession from the rest of his online life. That’s a pretty telling detail to indicate his level of embarrassment.
The man told his tale at the “Today I F*cked Up” subreddit, where he details his 15-year f*ck up. As it turns out, he’s been doing this public bathroom thing all wrong, thanks to his cousin playing a cruel trick on him during childhood. The next family reunion is gonna get pretty real:
When I was 7, an older cousin informed me that it was common courtesy to, after using a public restroom for #2, leave a one-wipe size amount of toilet paper around the handicap bar so the next person would have one ready when they go.
Now 22, first big boy job, do this every day in the public bathroom. Think all of my coworkers are rude for not leaving me any. Someone sent an email around requesting the courtesy paperer (me) to stop wasting paper. I reply “what about courtesy paper” to emailer, at which point I discover that I was duped for 15 years.
Also, whenever I spotted courtesy paper, I happily used it for 15 years.
There’s so much comedic value in this story. A man grew up measuring the value of other men by whether or not they’d leave “courtesy paper” for him to “happily” use on his bum. He was also starting to grow ragey by the absence of said courtesy at work. Now he’s forced to question his entire value system after one commenter pointed out the harsh implications of this duping:
You need to start questioning everything you’ve been doing. If you think courtesy paper is the only thing you might have been tricked into doing….
Man, someone is going to get drunk tonight.
(Via Reddit)