Patton Oswalt Plays Dungeons and Pattons

04.21.11 7 years ago 3 Comments

This guy seems legit.

Patton Oswalt was the top-billed guest on Minnesota Public Radio’s Wits, where host John Moe got him to play his own version of Dungeons and Dragons, “Dungeons and Pattons”.  Patton travelled to the 1985 San Diego Comic-Con and almost derails the whole thing by rolling a natural 1.  John Moe gives him a pass on that (such a generous Dungeon Master) and then lets Patton meet Stan Lee.  In this alternate 1985 reality, Patton tells Stan the Man that Robert Preston should play Spider-Man, which sounds awesome.  Spider-Man starts with S and that’s next to T and that stands for trouble, right here in New York City.

Patton is then gifted a magical amulet in the game which lets him decide the next comic book movie coming out after 1985.  Here’s his pitch:

Jamie Farr is the Green Lantern.  And it’s directed by Hal Needham. [Ed.- The Cannonball Run]  The Green Lantern has to get a truck full of Oan power batteries from Texarkana back to Georgia.  He makes a bet with Sinestro, who’s played by Paul Williams.  He has 24 hours.  Him and the Green Arrow — his sidekick Green Arrow played by Dom DeLuise — have got to get this truck full of power batteries back to Georgia in 24 hours.

No lie, I would have owned the f-ck out of that movie on bootleg VHS back in the 80s.

Video via ToplessRobot.  The rest of the show (with Grant Lee Phillips and Paul F. Tompkins) is available at Minnesota Public Radio.

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