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Decemberists frontman Colin Meloy hails from Oregon, so it makes sense that he’d have some thoughts about the armed militiamen who took over the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge this past weekend. Spoiler alert: he’s not a fan.
But rather than get preachy, Meloy chose to express his frustration with the militiamen in the best way possible: erotic fan-fiction! Yes, he created the hashtag #bundyeroticfanfic, and before too long, the laughs started pouring in. Meloy got the party started last night with this speculative tweet:
Can't wait to see all the erotic fanfic inspired by the #bundymilitia #MalheurWildlifeRefuge occupation…
— colin meloy (@colinmeloy) January 6, 2016
Then, he decided to try a more direct approach, by giving us some ribald tweets of his own:
"They huddled together for warmth. The cold of Ammon's Ruger 22 against Brian's naked thigh sent a thrill up his spine." #bundyeroticfanfic
— colin meloy (@colinmeloy) January 6, 2016
"Jason pressed Jed against a rack of "Birds of Oregon" books; his breath was sweet with jerky. Somewhere, an egret cried" #bundyeroticfanfic
— colin meloy (@colinmeloy) January 6, 2016
After awhile, several of Meloy’s follower got in the action, giving us juicy tweets like these:
https://twitter.com/nmoore6/status/684550664119177216?ref_src=twsrc^tfw
@colinmeloy With his hand on Ryan's chest, he felt the passion beneath his pocket-sized copy of the US Constitution. #bundyeroticfanfic
— whoami.exe (@WasteOfATP) January 6, 2016
@colinmeloy Cletus's hands guided him to the right spot. "Squeeze the trigger, don't pull it," he whispered. #bundyeroticfanfic
— new name that's not AOT related (@GurneySanders) January 6, 2016
The party went on for about six hours before Meloy finally decided a call it a night, and in that time, several other hilarious tweets were posted. Honestly, no matter how you feel about the militiamen (personally, I share Meloy’s negative view of them), you should be able to get a kick out of some of these. Now, the only remaining question is if Meloy can team up with Tina Belcher for some erotic friend-fiction about the group.
(Via Portland Mercury)