Anthony Weiner Increases His Twitter Follower Count The Hard Way

As everyone knows, the most important form of social currency going these days is how many Twitter followers a person has. This is why people and corporations shell out big bucks to cheesedicky “social media strategists” — like the ones so brilliantly lampooned in this video — for help developing their “Twitter strategy” and such. (Pro tip: Be famous or be funny and/or interesting. Now PAY ME!)

And now it appears as though Rep. Anthony Weiner, soon to be a new father, has discovered a new way to pile up the followers: Tweet out pics of your erect penis!

Yes, as pointed out by the Village Voice’s lovely Jen Doll, “Weiner is currently approaching 80,000 Twitter followers, averaging gains of 1,000-plus per day.” She adds that “pre-scandal he had around 40,000, holding fairly steady from May 11 until May 26, with a slow build from the 27th to the 31st, and then a spike that continues to climb.”

Here’s a handy chart detailing Weiner’s explosive expansion…

WHY ARE YOU CRYING ANTHONY WEINER? LOOK AT ALL THOSE NEW FOLLOWERS! CELEBRATE WITH THIS CAKE WE MADE YOU!

Anthony Weiner should be happier. He may be sucking at real life, but he is totally conquering the Internet, and the Internet is our new religion after all! (Seriously, do yourself a favor and watch the video below.)