David Bowie is either really good at Valentine’s Day, to the point where he’s celebrating it over half-a-year early in the music video for The Next Day‘s standout “Valentine’s Day,” or really bad at it, and he’s super late. I’m thinking the latter, unless you’re the kind of person who likes romantic dinners in abandoned factories where the only thing wetter than you is the floor. Also, you probably shouldn’t step in that green-ish puddle. Looks toxic.