Well, hopefully everything is going to balance out now that the major bailing is over on “Project Runway.” Remain calm, designers! Ah, we start off with the usual bitching and bonding. Raul LOVES Christopher. He’s made a connection with him. A connection he hasn’t had in a long time. Do I hear showmance? What is this, “The Bachelor”?
At the runway, Heidi presents the button bag to the designers. She invites Nina Garcia to help her tell the scissor-happy hamsters about the challenge. Marie Claire recently launched Marie Claire at Work, which I guess is a supplement or a little magazine or something. The designers will be creating a fashion capsule collection that will be editorial but will also work in the real world. How fun. Marie Claire has a great arrangement here — free designs made to order!
It’s a team challenge! Everyone silently groans. They will be doing a fashion shoot as well — the winner will, of course, be featured in the magazine.
Sonjia gets to choose her team first. She plucks Elena. Oh, that’s a lousy first choice. Elena may be good at technical things, but she’s also crazy. Nathan is the other team leader, although no one is really the team leader, as “Project Runway” wants as much fighting and chaos as possible. Nathan picks Ven. Elena picks Melissa. Ven picks Christopher. Melissa picks Dmitry. Christopher picks… Fabio. Raul is so hurt! Christopher just wanted him to Ven. Dmitry picks Alicia. Fabio plucks… Gunnar. That means Raul is on Sonia’s team. Raul hates feeling like leftovers! Well, come on, Raul. You haven’t done that well for… well, ever. You can’t sew pants that fit, dude.
Sonia’s team is Team Six and Nathan’s team is Team Five.
They have 30 minutes to sketch. On their tablets PLUG PLUG PLUG I’m not listening, “Project Runway”!
It may not be Sonjia’s team, but she takes charge. Raul says he’s good at making pants. Sonjia suggests he isn’t. Raul wants to save his ass. Oh, Raul. He’s the only one who’s arguing and being a pill, I notice.
Nathan also takes charge and suggests they think big picture — what do they want for a fall collection. Nathan thinks Gunnar is slightly insane. Gunnar hates that everyone else has an opinion and they aren’t listening to him!
Back at Team Six, Raul is continuing to be a pain in the ass. He wants to use lace! Ven is worried about Gunnar. Gunnar feels micromanaged! I think his teammates want him to go away.
At Mood, Raul insists on using the fabric HE likes. Raul, you are just asking to be eliminated, you know that, right?
Back in the work room, Elena realizes they forgot a bag. A bag with her wool in it. Raul argues with everyone SOME MORE.
Fabio is relieved that his team is getting along. Team Six, not so much. Because of RAUL.
Gunnar is so angry anyone is giving him direction. He’s a designer, not a tailor! Raul is so ANGRY that other people are trying to mess with his vision! When Elena is looking comparatively sane (and she is not sane for this challenge, people), so you know Raul is trouble.
Christopher finds Kooan’s Afro pick. How sad! His hair’s probably a mess!
It’s Tim time! Tim can’t understand why Team Six is so unhappy! No one points at Raul, but they want to. Tim zeroes in on the shirt with the pleated bib. Even Gunnar thinks it’s nightmarish, so you know it’s bad. But Tim thinks it’s okay. Huh.
Elena talks to Tim about her horrible, matronly outfit. But he loves it! Why is she being so negative! Tim feels it doesn’t look like everything came out of the same box, and he’s pleased.
Tim isn’t pleased that Team Five is creating everything in silk. Sonjia thinks it looks too resort. Tim thinks it looks kind of clownish. Gunnar wants to say it looks like drag queen cocktail hour. Tim realizes Gunnar isn’t saying what he wants to say. He wouldn’t use the colors they’ve chosen, he finally admits. Nathan is starting to question himself. Tim thinks one skirt is saying “ole” to him. Oh, my.
Gunnar talks to himself and tells himself he made the wrong decision. Gunnar is clearly under stress. Or losing his mind. Or both. Sonia can’t get Raul to show her what he’s making. He’s creating! Sonjia is regretting the idea that tops are being paired with bottoms by different designers, because she’s stuck with him.
More fun and games in the work room! The ladies start joking about the Silk Chiffonies. Chris, Ven and Nathan use a lot of silk chiffon all the time, according to Elena, and the result are garments that aren’t practical for women to wear.
Elena tells Dmitry no woman wears navy blue. Dmitry hates Elena.
Dmitry thinks Ven is a one-way monkey. No, one-trick pony. I have been rooting for Ven, but Dmitry has a point.
Elena calls Raul Eddie Munster. I kind of love that. But at the photo shoot, she bosses everyone around on Team Six. Team Five, however, gets along pretty well. Eddie Munster tells her to zip it. Nathan isn’t even on their team, and the tension is seeping from their side of the room to his, which is bumming him out. Elena hates the props, but Eddie is afraid of getting into trouble for not using the props. Elena and Eddie get into it. I can’t believe Elena doesn’t just kill him. Elena seems like someone who has a dark, felonious past. Just a thought.
Time for the runway! Michael Kors, Nina Garcia and Marie Claire editor-in-chief Joanna Coles. Who was so boring on “Project Accessory.”
TEAM FIVE
NATHAN
Hmm, Is this outfit suitable for work? Maybe if you work at a mall boutique in Atlanta. I thought they were making a fall collection? This is so old lady. And the pants — the draping in front would make anyone except a model look hugely fat. He thinks it’s easy and wearable. He’s on crack.
CHRISTOPHER
I love the skirt, love. The jacket isn’t great, but I like the idea. And who cares? I’m totally fixated on the skirt. I think Christopher is evil, yes, and he’s done this technique before, sure, but I still like it loads.
GUNNAR
The gathering on the top half of the dress isn’t working that well. It looks like she shoved a shirt into her skirt while rushing out of the bathroom.
FABIO
This isn’t bad. It’s a little basic. But the accessories work really well. I usually hate head scarves, but this is cute. Michael said he wanted to see more of Fabio’s personal style, so there you go.
VEN
I love the top, but the skirt seems to be catching in her crotch.
TEAM SIX
MELISSA
Dig the color, love the neckline. It looks a little rumpled, though. Like the asymmetrical zipper in the back. Still, so glad she designed something that isn’t black.
ELENA/ALICIA
I like the jacket, though the details just disappear on the runway. The crotch of the pants seems a little low to me, but that’s Alicia’s weird ass thing.
RAUL/SONJIA
I hate the shirt, honestly, as it looks like he didn’t finish sewing it. But the skirt is extremely well made.
ELENA/ALICIA
Okay, the top looks like Elena’s work, but it’s also pretty clear she wasn’t using the right fabric due to that lost bag incident. She may be nuts, but I still love her aesthetic. Alicia made pants. They’re fine. I don’t like them; the fit seems off to me, but they’re fine.
DMITRY
The color blocked dress is simple and well-made. Works for me. Not sure if the open triangles in the back are right for work, though.
RAUL/SONJIA
I would have liked Sonjia’s skirt to be just a tad more snug — the draping is a cool detail, but it borders on being a pouch. Like you could keep a sandwich in there. What is going on with the back of that top? It looks like the zipper isn’t sewn into the fabric very well. It’s completely boring. For as much as Raul bitched and moaned and fought to represent his aesthetic, he made two tops that look like crap.
Heidi announces that some looks in each collection were great — and some weren’t. And guess what? The teams are TIED! So, she’s going to talk to Team Five first.
Ven talks about black and white and a hint of color. Heidi thinks they were very smart to use the softer fabric, because it made the working woman not as tough. Nina thinks they did a good job of creating a collection. She loves Christopher’s skirt. Michael’s favorite outfit is Fabio’s. But he doesn’t like the head wrap. Joanna thinks it all looks easy to wear. If you live at your dry cleaner. She likes the headgear. But Nina has a problem with Nathan’s look. She thinks the pants are unflattering. Heidi thinks it’s a nice look for old people. Heidi doesn’t like Gunnar’s dress. She thinks it was a bad boob soufflé. She thinks it looks cheap. Michael thinks the fabric made the collection look old lady.
Heidi wants Fabio to say who the weakest link is. Fabio says Ven is the strongest, so he tosses the ball to him. Heidi thinks this is silly. She asks Christopher, and he points the finger at Gunnar. Gunnar agrees his is the weakest. Ven agrees with everyone. Nathan also throws Gunnar under the bus. Backstage, Christopher apologizes. Don’t be mad at me, Gunnar! Gunnar says it’s okay, but it’s clearly not okay with him.
Team Six is next. Nina thinks it’s modern and editorial. She loves Melissa’s dress. She loves the trousers and the fact that there are wide leg and skin pants. Michael thinks Raul’s tuxedo bib is a bit much. Heidi agrees. But overall, Michael thinks it’s a good collection. Joanna thinks these clothes could be sold in stores. But she hates Raul’s bib. Heidi likes Melissa and Dmitry’s dresses. Joanna says Dmitry’s dress is too much skin for the a law office. Michael notes that it doesn’t look cohesive.
Heidi asks who the weakest link was.. Sonjia. She picks Raul, of course. Raul points at Elena. Melissa names Raul. Elena points out that Raul doesn’t know to put darts in a shirt and his construction is wretched. Alicia adds that Raul is the weakest link. Dmitry says Elena creates too much stress.
Backstage, Dmitry and Elena argue. Raul jumps in to say he can’t work with Elena, either! Yeah, she’s not going home, guys.
The judges talk. They love the designs by Fabio, Melissa and Christopher. They didn’t like Elena’s shoulder shirt, both of Raul’s tops, and Gunnar’s dress.
They call the designers back. They decide to use the photos from Team Six, even though Heidi prefers Team Five. Elena may be hated, but she had the right idea — the clothes stood out.
Alicia is… in. Christopher is… in. Melissa is… the winner! Fabio is… in. Sonjia is… in. Ven is… in. Dmitry is… in. Nathan is… in. Elena is… in. That leaves Raul and Gunnar. Raul is… out. Gunnar is safe.
Gunnar thanks the judges for the heart attack. Gunnar needs to shut up as of yesterday. Raul doesn’t care. He has to pack again. Raul goes backstage to tell a few people he likes them — and to tell Elena he HATES HER. Elena doesn’t care. He does. Because he HATES HER. He wants everyone else to make sure she goes home, because he HATES HER. Okay, Eddie Munster, just pack your stuff and leave.
Next week, the designers have to make stuff for, gasp, real people! Oh my God! How terrible! I now hate a few of the designers a little bit, as they seem SO put out by this idea.
Which team did you want to win (unless you were rooting for a tie)? What did you think about Raul’s angry exit? And what did you think of Melissa’s blue dress?