Strap in, This Week In Posters readers, Comic-Con was this past week, so we’ve got new one sheets for pretty much every upcoming movie that studios think nerds love, starting with this one for Black Panther. It’s a pretty de rigeuer superhero teaser poster — heroic backlighting, a monumental set, some futuristic stuff — but can you explain this pose to me? Is that a panther thing? It’s somewhere between a chest flex and the marbles pose from Major League where I can’t tell if he wants to claw my face or show me his junk. I suppose it could be both.
Oh hell yeah! We haven’t had a good close-eyed headbutt poster in a while. I can’t wait to watch these white people yearn for all they’re worth. Wait, what’s that tree in the background, is this set in Africa? (*checks IMDB*)
For his directorial debut, Andy Serkis brings to life the inspiring true love story between Robin and Diana Cavendish (Andrew Garfield, Claire Foy), an adventurous couple who refuse to give up in the face of a devastating disease.
When Robin is struck down by polio at the age of 28, he is confined to a hospital bed and given only a few months to live. With the help of Diana’s twin brothers (Tom Hollander) and the groundbreaking ideas of inventor Teddy Hall (Hugh Bonneville), Robin and Diana dare to escape the hospital ward to seek out a full and passionate life together — raising their young son, traveling and devoting their lives to helping other polio patients. [source]
Andy Serkis?! As in Gollum? I would’ve had no idea. I like to think he was wearing his ping pong ball-covered leotard the entire time. I like to imagine Andy Serkis’ closet just has 10 identical leotard jumpsuits covered in ping pong balls.
This is a very literal poster for Burning Shadow.
Oh come on! There is absolutely no reason to put the names out of order with the faces in this other than as an insult to me personally.
Also, I hope this gets a really awesome Japanese translation, like Helicopter Beanie Fight, or Hobo Dad Yearns for Kill.
I see The Disaster Artist is really going for The Room fanatics. That could prove to be too narrow a demo, but I’m in that demo so I can’t say.
If you’ll remember, the first posters for The Hitman’s Bodyguard said “get triggered,” and they got criticized for using an alt-right meme to sell their movie. This one just has “trigger warning” right next to the literal trigger, as if to shout “NO REALLY IT’S A CLEVER JOKE BECAUSE THERE ARE GUNS WITH TRIGGERS, THINK OF THE LEVELS.”
Here’s another poster for the It remake and the “you’ll float too” line. How many people remember that line? I sure don’t. It feels plenty ominous though. My only criticism of this poster is that Pennywise should be like five times that size. At this size, I can’t tell what the hell that silhouette is even supposed to be.
This is a new poster for the Saw spinoff (prequel? I refuse to look this up), Jigsaw. It also doubles as a helpful Halloween costume idea.
Jigsaw is everyone! The truck stop stoner, the girl at the music festival with bad posture… Do you think they’re just putting the mask on their target demo? Discuss.
There are more of these, but I’ll cut it off at the bikini one.
Is that him? Is that Jigsaw? I don’t watch the Saw movies so I wasn’t sure if Jigsaw was this guy or the little doll thing. Anyway, I guess this poster is about as cool as you can make this Nü Metal music video director ass villain look, but part of me still wishes this was a miniseries about a young Jigsaw who f*cks.
I like making fun of DC movies (and especially the idea of Justice League) as much as the next guy, but this poster is extremely solid. It reminds me of the opening scene of Watchmen, which is still the best thing Zack Snyder has ever done.
I assume there’s a reason Superman isn’t there? He makes the rest of these people unnecessary. I guess Wonder Woman does too, but I’m still a little unclear on what exactly her powers are.
This looks fine and all but I still don’t know what a Ninjago is.
This Only The Brave poster has done an incredible job conveying “hot shot fire fighter” through clothes and posture alone. As a ex-rugby player I sometimes wish I had become a firefighter. It’s the only adult job that involves hazing and groupies.
This is the first of a big batch of these new Pacific Rim: Uprising character posters. These are all pretty great, but the baseball card aspects of Pacific Rim were always the best parts, whereas the worst part was the actual movie. Like I never need to see that dopey movie ever again but I still chuckle every time I think about the phrase “neural handshake.”
This robot’s crotch looks like an angry robot face.
Guardian Bravo, Saber Athena… these are okay, but they’re no “Stacker Pentacost.”
Holy crap, this one’s crotch looks even more like a robot head!
Oh cool this one has a giant spiky mace ball thingy for a hand. Which makes me wonder the other ones don’t have weapons for hands and feet. Do they really need opposable thumbs for bashing each other?
Hot damn, look at this gorgeous poster for Proud Mary. I assume this is some neo-blacksploitation version of Atomic Blonde, but whatever it is this is one of the best looking posters I’ve seen in weeks.
I keep hearing about Ready Player One though I know nothing about it, so I guess the goal here was to continue that trend.
Damn, first that Proud Mary poster now this. This is Del Toro so I’m hoping the poster isn’t the best part.
I feel like you make a movie feel like homework the minute you describe it as “important,” but I guess I’ll have to take… *squints* uh… *squints harder* Moilever… Des Barrey… of the 5ivjoius Mms’ word for it.
I like to make fun of horror movies always being about a haunted house or a creepy little kids, so this haunted temple movie about a lamprey-mouthed kid is a nice twist. For real though, that’s pretty scary.
I was going to say something about Cate Blanchett wearing a tribal tat costume, and then I noticed the background and though maybe it was actually a biohazard symbol, and then I looked up the movie on IMDB to make sure that wasn’t her character’s name or something, and then I thought to myself “isn’t it weird how afraid I am of looking dumb for not knowing the ancillary characters in a third-tier Marvel character’s story?”
So yeah, that was my journey. Anyway, cool poster. It felt like people were over Thor and then this poster came out and everyone was excited again. I like this, and I just remembered Taika Waititi is directing this one so I’m double excited.
This poster for Woodshock would like you to know that Kirsten Dunst is doing some serious acting. Honestly, I got nothing for this one. *checks IMDB*
The exquisite feature film debut of visionary fashion designers Kate and Laura Mulleavey (Rodarte), Woodshock is a hypnotic exploration of isolation, paranoia, and grief that exists in a dream-world all its own. Kirsten Dunst stars as Theresa, a haunted young woman spiraling in the wake of profound loss, torn between her fractured emotional state and the reality-altering effects of a potent cannabinoid drug. Immersive, spellbinding, and sublime, Woodshock transcends genre to become a singularly thrilling cinematic experience that marks the arrival of the Mulleavy siblings as a major new voice in film. [Source]
Nothing against these two as I’m not familiar with their work, but I feel bad about what we’ve done to the word “visionary.”