People Are Mocking Julian Assange After He Googled Himself And Whined About The Unflattering Results

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Since June 19, 2012, Assange has sequestered himself within the Ecuadorian embassy in London, and despite being hidden away from public view, he’s still receiving a barrage of media coverage. This is to be expected, given his continued Wikileaks shenanigans and his bizarre relationship with Pamela Anderson. Yet beyond that, there’s a definite fixation among the British and Australian media with the Wikileaks founder, and he’s not happy about it.

He actually seems really grumpy, perhaps due to an absence of fresh air and vitamin D (though he apparently has a sunlamp and periodically waves papers around on his balcony). Assange rolled out of bed on Tuesday and must have Googled himself for awhile before firing off a complaint-tweet: “Did you know that ‘journalists’ are so cretinous they have launched 420k pages saying I live in a ‘cupboard’ and 261k in a ‘basement’?”

From those screencaps, one can assume that he’s upset about being called “WikiLeaks Cupboard Boy” by The Australian, not to imagine the fantastical tales about secret embassy escape routes. So, Assange ranted about “confining metaphors” by journalists who seek “comfort” by talking about the physical attributes of “short” Vladimir Putin and Donald “Tiny Hands” Trump.

Naturally, Twitter took great joy in Assange’s boredom-induced rage and began to dig up other Google results to get under his thin skin (and yes, unavoidably, this also included those rape accusations.)

https://twitter.com/cashbonez/status/899965957552066560

People also reminded Assange that at least people find him relevant enough to still discuss him, albeit in a manner that he does not enjoy. Hey, not everyone who lives in a basement has that kind of celebrity going for them.

On a semi-related note, Assange also complained about solar eclipse glasses, which he believes are solely motivated by profits, not safety. Someone get this guy a hobby!