To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 23, 2018
To put the Donald Trump tweet above into some context, it was made after Iranian President Hassan Rouhani gave a speech to Iranian diplomats on Sunday, saying, “American must understand well that peace with Iran is the mother of all peace and war with Iran is the mother of all wars.” This comes after Trump refused to recertify the Iran nuclear deal in May, reinstating sanctions. On Monday, Iranian lawmaker Heshmatollah Falahatpisheh told AP that Iran is angry because “Iran never moved toward a nuclear bomb” and nonetheless “Trump responded to Tehran’s engagement diplomacy by pulling the U.S. out of the nuclear deal.”
Falahatpisheh added that both Trump and Rouhani “express themselves through speeches since diplomatic channels are closed.” Or, in this case, express themselves through tweets. Even though Twitter’s been blocked in Iran since 2009, the country’s Foreign Minister, Javad Zarif, does have access and replied, “COLOR US UNIMPRESSED.”
COLOR US UNIMPRESSED: The world heard even harsher bluster a few months ago. And Iranians have heard them —albeit more civilized ones—for 40 yrs. We’ve been around for millennia & seen fall of empires, incl our own, which lasted more than the life of some countries. BE CAUTIOUS!
— Javad Zarif (@JZarif) July 23, 2018
Zarif wasn’t the only one seeming sarcastic about Trump’s tweet on Monday. Parodies and replies to the tweet turned into a widespread meme:
Sir, this is a Wendy’s drive-thru. https://t.co/uSFwdHWOGH
— Ben Yelin (@byelin) July 23, 2018
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) July 23, 2018
u mad bro pic.twitter.com/4B1eW4umrG
— Dr. Bucky Isotope, Astrologist, IQ 188 (@BuckyIsotope) July 23, 2018
To Iranian President Rouhani: I AM EMAILING ON BEHALF OF THE ESTATE OF NIGERIAN PRINCE ABACHA TUNDE. I WRITE TO REQUEST YOUR ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING MONEY FROM ACCOUNT, WHICH IS REQUIRED IMMEDIATELY DUE TO LEGAL. PLEASE REPLY WITH YOUR BANK DETAILS TO ASSIST THIS. BE CAUTIOUS!
— ange (@AngeMaryClaire) July 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/HodgesAdrianna/status/1021249968475078656
To Iranian President Rouhani: BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE A FREE THREE PIECE EXTENSION SET WITH BUILT-IN LIDS ACT NOW OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY WAITING FOR YOUR CALL
— Michal rarely tweets anymore (@MichalBrody) July 23, 2018
To my housemates: NEVER, EVER EAT THE PLUMS WHICH I WAS SAVING IN THE ICEBOX FOR BREAKFAST OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. I BET THEY WERE SO SWEET AND SO COLD. AND DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY WHEELBARROW.
— David J. Loehr 🖖🏻 (@dloehr) July 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/jules_su/status/1021244828477108224
And strong feelings were shared about Die Hard:
NEVER, EVER SAY DIE HARD IS NOT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED IDEAS ABOUT JOHN McCLANE. BE CAUTIOUS!
— St Peter (@stpeteyontweety) July 23, 2018
Speaking of movie references, people also quoted Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. It was pretty serious.
To Iranian President Rouhani: RONALD WOULD LIKE ME TO TELL YOU THAT SEAMUS TOLD HIM THAT DEAN WAS TOLD BY PAVARTI THAT HAGRID IS LOOKING FOR YOU
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) July 23, 2018
To Iranian President Rouhani:
MY BEST FRIEND'S SISTER'S BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER'S GIRLFRIEND HEARD FROM THIS GUY WHO KNOWS THIS KID WHO'S GOING WITH A GIRL WHO SAW FERRIS PASS OUT AT 31 FLAVORS LAST NIGHT. I GUESS IT'S PRETTY SERIOUS.— Christina Evans 🗨 (@cakevans) July 23, 2018
And this guy noticed the tweet would work just as well as his hypervigilant dog’s internal monologue:
https://twitter.com/Rob_Flaherty/status/1021360870310506496
But perhaps the most surprising development was the reminder that Papa Roach still exists and is willing to play along with our ironic love for declaring things our last resort:
To Iranian President Rouhani: LOSING MY SIGHT, LOSING MY MIND, WISH SOMEBODY WOULD TELL ME I’M FINE, NOTHING’S ALRIGHT, NOTHING IS FINE, I’M RUNNING AND IM CRYING. CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT.
— Papa Roach (@paparoach) July 23, 2018
That tweet led to responses like, “Holy sh*t. I retweeted Papa Roach” and, “Today, we are all Papa Roach” and even, “This is the day that Papa Roach became president.”
Plenty of other people on Twitter also saw their opportunity to share more song lyrics:
https://twitter.com/thelindsayellis/status/1021279989554077696
To Iranian President Rouhani: BAWITDABA DA BANG A DANG DIGGY DIGGY DIGGY SAID THE BOOGY SAID UP JUMP THE BOOGY BAWITDABA DA BANG A DANG DIGGY DIGGY DIGGY SAID THE BOOGY SAID UP JUMP THE BOOGY BAWITDABA DA BANG A DANG DIGGY DIGGY DIGGY SAID THE BOOGY SAID UP JUMP THE BOOGY BAWITDA
— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) July 23, 2018
To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER EVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP. NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN. NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AROUND AND DESERT YOU. NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY. NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE. NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU.
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) July 23, 2018
To iranian president rouhani: HELLO ,IT'S ME ,I WAS WONDERING IF AFTER ALL THESE YEARS YOU'D LIKE TO MEET, TO GO OVER EVERITHING, THEY SAY THAT TIME'S SUPPOSED TO HEAL YA BUT I AIN'T DONE MUCH HEALING, HELLO, CAN YOU HEAR ME, I'M IN CALOFORNIA DREAMING ABOUT WHO WE USED TO BE.
— ـآرشـ ⅚ (@arashkhat) July 23, 2018
To Iraniab President Rouhani:
PACK IT UP, PACK IT IN, LET ME BEGIN
I CAME TO WIN, BATTLE ME, THAT'S A SIN
I WON'T EVER SLACK UP, PUNK, YOU BETTER BACK UP
TRY AND PLAY THE ROLE AND YO, THE WHOLE CREW'LL ACT UP— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) July 24, 2018
https://twitter.com/cranekicker/status/1021245392850235392
https://twitter.com/SavinTheBees/status/1021302721775669248
Other folks offered advice about dealing with Trump:
Dear Iranian President Rouhani,
Just let him build a hotel in your country and he'll let you get away with anything.
— Nick Jack Pappas (@Pappiness) July 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/andylassner/status/1021381452326289408
Surely Iran would act nicer toward us if they knew that the perks of being America’s ally include economy-crippling tariffs and incoherent phone calls where the President complains about never winning an Emmy
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) July 23, 2018
The Iran context is different, but worth recalling: hours after Trump said he'd hit North Korea with "fire and fury" if Kim issued any more threats, Kim issued a threat to attack Guam. Trump did nothing, then a while later started calling him a funny guy with a great personality.
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) July 23, 2018
To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR I WILL GIVE YOU A FUN NICK-NAME, INVITE YOU TO A SUMMIT WHERE I WILL PRAISE YOU, GIVE YOU EVERY CONCESSION YOU ASK FOR, THEN NEVER CALL YOU OUT WHEN YOU RENEGE ON THE ONE WEAK PROMISE YOU MADE! – DJT
— Tea Pain (@TeaPainUSA) July 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/fro_vo/status/1021260331555975169
And, as per usual, people were quick to point out there’s always a tweet from Trump’s past that shows his cards:
lol come on pic.twitter.com/9WpJRRrXq3
— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) July 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/RyanHillMI/status/1021244275290451968
All in all, it was a very reassuring Monday. It’s fine. This is fine.
Trump tweeting all caps threats at a country that bans Twitter is like that person who shouts really loud at a totally deaf person thinking that somehow that will make them hear.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/DiscordianKitty/status/1021245648023277568
I wonder how Tang the Conqueror is handling the news Paul Manafort's trial starts on July 25th I'm gonna take a look at his timeline to see if OH MY GOD pic.twitter.com/oxsUMWZIMT
— Ragnarok Lobster 🐺 (@eclecticbrotha) July 23, 2018
I miss having a president who didn’t make all caps threats to foreign nations via social media at 11:30 on a Sunday night.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 23, 2018
I’m not sure about this new Twitter slogan pic.twitter.com/2ukYTj26U1
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) July 23, 2018