HIRE THIS HOBO.

Voice of the movies Don LaFontaine died back in 2008 (and was then snubbed at the Academy’s In Memoriam, but that’s another story), and movie trailers haven’t been the same without his husky baritone. There other movie voiceover guys, but they’re basically the Candlebox to his Vedder.

Well look no further for his replacement because I think we’ve found him.  The Columbus Dispatch recently found this homeless guy on the side of the road (that’s like 80% of the job for rust-belt journalists), and it turns out, he’s got a voice as beautiful as Susan Boyle and twice the f*ckability.   Also, his name is Ted Williams.  Seriously, watch this, it’s incredible.

Ted Williams here could definitely use a job in voice over, so let’s make that happen.  In the meantime, I think it’d be just as fun to hear him use that voice on the more traditional hobo phrases from my neighborhood. “10 o’clock, top of the hour, Ted Williams here on your morning drive. This just in: a squirrel told me you’re the antichrist. And coming up, we’ve got traffic, weather, and the aliens who crapped my pants while I was sleeping. So keep it locked to 98.3, Banjo, Heidi, and the Beav.”

[thanks to Burnsy and Dom for the tip]