It’s been almost seven years since Anchorman was released, forever altering the very fabric of frat life.How it’s taken this long for someone to make a porn parody, I’ll never understand. Though I suppose if porn is good at anything, it’s delaying a release (*rimshot*) (*moneyshot*). The uncreatively-named Anchorman: A XXX Parody recently began, er, shooting, and star Jack Lawrence has been tweeting pictures (via TheDailyWhat) from the set. The film stars Lawrence, Tasha Reign (right), Dana De Armond, India Summer, and Jacky Joy. Ha, “jack joy.” In any case, I think I speak for everyone here when I say that I’m getting sick and tired of these boring “A XXX Parody” titles. A name like “Sheepless in Seattle” or “Desperately Sucking Susan” was half the fun of porn parodies! You’re telling me you couldn’t come up with something like “Wanker Man” or “The Legend of Schlong Burgundy?” They’d better make up for this boring title by pornifying all the quotable dialog we remember.
“Snatch, snatch, snatch, I love snatch.” (Twats twats twats, maybe?)
“Dorothy Manspooge shaves her taint!”
“I am gonna straight up murder your ass!” (The line stays the same, but the meaning changes, you see).
As I was writing this, I realized trying to turn Anchorman lines into porn lines is actually really hard, probably because most of them already sound vaguely pornish (sex panther, anyone?). In fact, on second thought, maybe skip the Anchorman parody and go straight to “Whore Island.” I’m actually shocked no one’s made that.
