Total Recall blows the tie-in opportunity of a lifetime

“My God, Jenkins, America has Mars fever! Everyone’s talking about it! And on the same weekend as our movie opens! You can’t buy this kind of publicity! It’s serendip– wait, what’s that you say? They don’t even go to Mars in our version? SON OF A BITCH! Now what am I going to do with all this cocaine?” -A Sony exec watching the Mars rover landing yesterday, probably.

The Dark Knight Rises held onto the number one spot at the box office over the weekend, holding off a weak-opening Total Recall remake, which only made $26 million (on a reported $125 million budget). By now, poor Kate Beckinsale must realize what a big loser her husband is (Total Recall director Len Wiseman). I’m sure she’ll start answering my phone calls pretty soon, or at least one of the love letters I spelled out on her lawn with her dead pets, chicks love that romantic stuff.

Meanwhile, TDKR earned $36.4 million, slightly less than The Dark Knight’s $42.7 in its third weekend for a total of $354.6 million (domestically), $39 million less than TDK’s total through the same point. Between the Olympics, the Aurora shooting, and me jinxing it by choosing it in our fantasy summer box office pool, it’s had a tough run.

Total Recall opened to an estimated $26 million from 3,601 locations this weekend. That ranks second all-time among Philip K. Dick adaptations behind Minority Report ($35.7 million) but slightly ahead of the original Total Recall ($25.5 million). Unfortunately, the original Recall opened 22 years ago and therefore had substantially higher initial ticket sales.
Distributor Sony Pictures is reporting that the movie’s audience was 58 percent male and 53 percent were 30 years of age or older. They awarded the movie a poor “C+” CinemaScore.

Okay, so they didn’t really like it. The good news is, not that many people saw it.

While it’s very early in its run right now, Total Recall’s domestic box office situation appears nearly identical to that of May’s Battleship. Both movies opened two weeks after a major comic book adaptation (The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises) and earned nearly the same amount ($26 million for Total Recall, $25.5 million for Battleship). Both movies also face stiff competition from sequels in their second weekends: Battleship went up against MIB 3, while Total Recall is set to face The Bourne Legacy. With the “C+” CinemaScore suggesting that word-of-mouth won’t be particularly strong, it won’t be surprising at all if Total Recall winds up close to Battleship‘s disappointing $65.2 million total. [BoxOfficeMojo]

Ouch, a Battleship comparison, that’s always a bad sign. Haha, suck it, Total Recall remake! Wait, who had that in our Fantasy Summer Box Office pool–  AW GOD DAMMIT!

FANTASY SUMMER BOX OFFICE STANDINGS:
VINCE:
Dark Knight Rises: 161
Total Recall: 26
Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter: 17
BOMB PICK: The Raven: $26 million budget – $7 million opening = 19 million
TOTAL: 223

BEN:
The Avengers: $207 million opening
Men in Black 3: 55 million
Ice Age: 47
BOMB PICK: Men in Black 3: 215 million budget – 55 million = 160
TOTAL: 469

BRET:
Brave: 67
Snow White & The Huntsman: 56
Bourne Legacy
BOMB PICK: Dark Shadows: $150 million – 28 million = 122
TOTAL: 245

LAREMY:
Prometheus: 50
GI Joe: Retaliation. The Watch: 13
Madagascar: 60
BOMB PICK: Rock of Ages: 75m budget – 14 = 61
TOTAL: 184

BRENDAN:
Amazing Spider-Man: 62
Battleship: $25 million
Expendables 2
BOMB PICK: Battleship: 209m – 25m = 184
TOTAL: 271

Oh well, at least I beat Laremy. So much for our movie blogging “expertise.” Yarmulkas off to the motorcycle-ridin’ Jew, unless Bourne or Expendables 2 make $200 million in their opening weekends, no one’s catching him.