Last night at the SAG Awards, which of course stands for Sensual Armenian Goalposts (full list of SAG Award winners and nominees below), Jennifer Lawrence took home the best actress award for her role in Silver Linings Playbook. During her acceptance speech, she first thanked MTV, which seems weird, because you’d think if MTV was running the SAG awards, the winner would be Braden Boogerface from Twilight and the statue would be a surfboard. Lawrence explained:
“I wanna thank MTV. I’ll explain. I earned my SAG card – when I was 14 I did an MTV promo for My Super Sweet 16. And I remember getting it in the mail and I remember it being the best day of my entire life because it officially made me a professional actor, which put me in the category with all of you. And now I have this naked statue, that means that some of you even voted for me.”
So you’re saying next time I camp out outside your house naked, I should paint myself silver like a statue? Duly noted, Jennifer Lawrence, duly noted. Whatever makes you comfortable. Anyway, since Jennifer Lawrence basically told the internet to google her MTV promo, the internet quickly googled her MTV promo, which is above. The amazing thing is that Jennifer Lawrence at 14 looks pretty much exactly the same as she does now (she’s 22). At 14, I looked someone dyed a Ronald McDonald wig blonde and put it on some braces. Luckily I’m 76 now and have outgrown my awkward phase.
Aaaaand here’s a gif of Jennifer Lawrence on the red carpet:
Which leads me to my next question: Jennifer Lawrence, why are you so goddamned adorable? You could shoot me full of heroine and morphine and I still wouldn’t be that comfortable in my own skin.
[Gif from Arclife via SuicideBlonde]
Film
Cast in a motion picture
WINNER: Argo
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Les Misérables
Lincoln
Silver Linings Playbook
Male actor in a leading role
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
WINNER: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
John Hawkes, The Sessions
Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
Denzel Washington, Flight
Female actor in a leading role
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Marion Cotillard, Rust and Bone
WINNER: Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Helen Mirren, Hitchcock
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Male actor in a supporting role
WINNER: Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Alan Arkin, Argo
Javier Bardem, Skyfall
Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Female actor in a supporting role
Sally Field, Lincoln
WINNER: Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Nicole Kidman, The Paperboy
Maggie Smith, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Stunt ensemble
WINNER: Skyfall
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Bourne Legacy
The Dark Knight Rises
Les Misérables
Television
Ensemble in a drama series
Boardwalk Empire, HBO
Breaking Bad, AMC
WINNER: Downton Abbey, PBS
Homeland, Showtime
Mad Men, AMC
Ensemble in a comedy series
30 Rock, NBC
The Big Bang Theory, CBS
Glee, Fox
WINNER: Modern Family, ABC
Nurse Jackie, Showtime
The Office, NBC
Male actor in a drama series
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire, HBO
WINNER: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad, AMC
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom, HBO
Jon Hamm, Mad Men, AMC
Damian Lewis, Homeland, Showtime
Female actor in a drama series
WINNER: Claire Danes, Homeland, Showtime
Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey, PBS
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Asylum, FX
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife, CBS
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey, PBS
Male actor in a comedy series
WINNER: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock, NBC
Ty Burrell, Modern Family, ABC
Louis C.K., Louie, FX
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory, CBS
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family, ABC
Female actor in a comedy series
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie, Showtime
WINNER: Tina Fey, 30 Rock, NBC
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation, NBC
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family, ABC
Betty White, Hot in Cleveland, TV Land
Male actor in a television movie or miniseries
WINNER: Kevin Costner, Hatfields & McCoys, History
Woody Harrelson, Game Change, HBO
Ed Harris, Game Change, HBO
Clive Owen, Hemingway & Gellhorn, HBO
Bill Paxton, Hatfields & McCoys, History
Female actor in a television movie or miniseries
Nicole Kidman, Hemingway & Gellhorn, HBO
WINNER: Julianne Moore, Game Change, HBO
Charlotte Rampling, Restless, Sundance
Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals, USA
Alfre Woodard, Steel Magnolias, Lifetime
Stunt ensemble
WINNER: Boardwalk Empire, HBO
Breaking Bad, AMC
Game of Thrones, HBO
Sons of Anarchy, FX
The Walking Dead, AMC