On the one hand it’s nice when a story comes out of New Mexico that has nothing to do with methamphetamine, but when the story that does come out of “The Land of Enchantment” is about a woman who hit her mother in the head with her electric vibrator after an altercation and then hid out in a Ford truck, well, we’re venturing very close to faux-Florida territory my friends.
Sheryl Claffy, 60, called cops to report that her daughter Cara, 35, “struck her on the head with a vibrator” and was attempting to flee from the Albuquerque home they share. The elder Claffy, bleeding from a head wound, pointed to a Ford truck and told cops her daughter was inside the vehicle.
“The FOOLS! They’ll never find me in here, what with my 60% tinted windows!”
While the car was only occupied by a male driver, an officer reported, “I did notice an electric vibrator on the passenger side floor of the vehicle,” according to a criminal complaint which does not further describe the vibrator.
“Erm, no sir, that’s uh…my vibrator? I use it to, uh, loosen up muh stools?”
Cara Claffy was subsequently apprehended upon exiting a nearby house. She told officers that while she had earlier argued with her mother, she did not assault her kin. In fact, Claffy claimed that her mother had emerged bleeding from a room in their home, and reported “that she had struck herself with a vibrator.”
#You’reDoingItWrong
Sheryl Claffy told cops that she was watching TV when “an argument sparked” with her daughter. Cara, she said, “grabbed an electric vibrator” and hit her over the head with the device. “Sheryl Claffy immediately felt blood streaming down her head at which time she fled the house to call for help,” an investigator noted.
Oh man. I really, really hope that was her own blood.
Cara Claffy is currently being held on $3,500 bond in a New Mexico jail. I bet she thought after using her vibrator that she’d get off, but looks like the only thing that’s coming is an appearance in court. Something something vibration.
via TheSmokingGun