If you know your way around the internet you’ve probably at the very least read a headline covering actress Amber Tamblyn’s recent intricate and psychotically genius email prank on Transformers star/R&B singer/underwear model Tyrese Gibson. I had personally seen several headlines, but the amount of convoluted text that followed discouraged me from getting my head around the subject.
But then I realized I am nothing more than your humble servant and it is my duty — no, my privilege! — to familiarize myself with the story so that I can relay it to you in the spirited and digestible manner you’re accustomed to. Buckle in folks. There’s some NSFW audio in our future. Here we go…
To begin, last Friday David Cross’s fiancee emailed the blog Street Boners and TV Carnage with the following introduction. No word yet on whether a friend runs the site or she’s just high on the combination of carnage and boners.
Hi friends!
Tyrese Gibson (of Fast and Furious and Transformers) saw my name cc’d on an email that a mutual friend sent out and thought I was the model ex girlfriend of Kanye West, Amber Rose. (My middle name is Rose and my email adress is registered as Amber Rose). I’ve never met Tyrese before. He pulled my email addy from that cc list and emailed me wanting to work on an album together. So I recorded my demos on my iPhone and sent them to him. I guess you could call them Awareness Raps? I am the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs.
Below are all the email correspondences I had with Tyrese as well as the songs I sent him.
Things that need to be pointed out:
- Tyrese’s mistake was equal parts honest and trying too hard.
- It was practically begging to be exploited.
- I must know who the person is that is cc’ing Amber Tamblyn AND Tyrese Gibson on the same email.
- You could have drowned a toddler in my panties after I read “Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs.”
Now on to the correspondence. The sequence of the dates and times makes no sense to me either, but I do feel it is important to note that Tyrese’s email signature for any and all emails is “Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson.” Dude is like the anti-Chris Brown.
On Sun, Feb 26, 2012 at 11:41 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
Hit me now … ***.***.****
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson
Amber Rose Wrote:
Sorry boo I would but my neighbors is really into exotic animals and I promised I would go over and see their new baby Ball Python.
On Sat, Feb 25, 2012 at 9:04 PM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
On this new album it’s whatever..
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson
On Feb 26, 2012, at 10:16 AM, Amber Rose T wrote:
lol u are so sweet boo I’ve been trying to get this album goin for so long u know how it is. Attached is the single demo I’ve been workin on… not finished yet but soon! Thanks to u boo lol. I will send you more demos soon. You will have demos comin out ur demos!!
lol
A
Amber’s first brilliant Awareness Rap single, “Splits.”
Eggs at the beach sounds hella gross, but they do lead to the following exchange.
On Sun, Feb 26, 2012 at 10:55 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
We can make it real …. I’m sitting on a lot of magic … Let me know when ur in LA .. We can play until we customize AR
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson
On Feb 26, 2012, at 11:03 AM, Amber Rose wrote:
I like the way you think. The music is just temp tracks but the lyrics and songs are my babies. Attached is another one. I’m so happy you are feelin’ these! God Bless
lol
Love 4Ever
Mother f*ckers really do have the biggest feet. Somehow Tyrese didn’t dig the hot fire quite as much as I did…
On Sun, Feb 26, 2012 at 11:21 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
That song was not it … Not even remotely …. Just keepin it real
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson
On Feb 26, 2012, at 11:29 AM, Amber Rose wrote:
Thank you so much for keepin it really real, T. That last one I was just messin around with. The first one I sent called Dancefloor Etiquette” is important to the feministical evolution and fourth wave movement of Woman-Beats and Girl-Music. Ya know? NEWayz,
I will send more! Demos and demos
lol….xA
On Wed, Feb 29, 2012 at 11:33 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
What u on?
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson
On Feb 29, 2012, at 12:43 PM, Amber Rose wrote:
Virgin America!
On Wed, Feb 29, 2012 at 12:47 PM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
Hit me when u land Pluto lady .. I got some shit in the stash Hope I’m not wasting my time ..
I got 6 hot ones for u ***.***.****
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson
On Mar 1, 2012, at 11:23 AM, Amber Rose wrote:
Here listen to these 2 first…What do you think? Then we can talk. ON THE REAL talk.
I’m not sure what’s more impressive, the Virgin America line or that Amber Tamblyn could run Kanye’s Twitter account. Regardless, two more hot new tracks from AmTam.
BOOM! Creed! Roasted!
I’ve never wanted to eat Mexican food with Jay-Z more than just now. Tyrese, not so much.
On Thu, Mar 1, 2012 at 11:26 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
That was trash …. Sorry .. At this point I don’t even believe this is Amber …. I’m cool …
Good luck on your career … One
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson
On Mar 1, 2012, at 11:40 AM, Amber Rose wrote:
Wow…okay. Sorry you feel that way. To each his own I suppose. These do mean something to me. They are from my heart and I feel like there is an important message in each and every song. But okay, good luck on your career as well. OH AND BY THE WAY – For the record, this is really Amber.
Best,
Amber Rose Tamblyn
On Thu, Mar 1, 2012 at 11:47 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
Didn’t sound like u on the songs
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson
On Thu, Mar 1, 2012 at 11:47 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
Here’s something ONLY YOU would know … One night we left what party..? And u dropped me off where..??
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson
On Mar 1, 2012, at 12:00 PM, Amber Rose wrote:
I don’t know what you’re talking about. What party?
Best,
Amber Rose Tamblyn
Tyrese Gibson ************* to me show details 12:20 PM (46 minutes ago)
Never-mind ..
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson
Our girl tried to clue Tyrese in with her email signature, but I’m sure after spending years ignoring his own it didn’t even come close to hitting his radar. I’m almost positive he still had no idea what happened until the real Amber Rose tweeted it. Amber Tamblyn was nice enough to provide the following disclaimer.
DISCLAIMER: Tyrese is a very sweet guy with good intentions who made a mistake and I, being an actress and engaged to a comedian, could not help myself. Tyrese, please accept my 87% hearfelt apology for stringing you along. I think we could have made beatufiul music together.
Thanks to the viral explosion the editor at Boners & Carnage has provided the following update.
UPDATE FROM THE EDITOR: This thing has exploded across the Interwebs and Tyrese is fucking pissed. He sent Amber an email that read, “Did you really go public with this ?? Corny as fuck .. Not cool .. Not even remotely .. I hope this does wonders for your career” after the real Amber Rose Tweeted it.
Then Shia Labeouf contacted her and said he wants to do animated shorts of each song. Dan the Automator also wants to get involved and do a whole EP of these and Questlove asked her publicist if she’d perform them on Jimmy Fallon.
Tyrese should be happy about all this because A- It’s funny and B- he comes across as an honest guy who doesn’t like shitty music. Amber is presently trying to summon the courage to get him to do an album with her for real.
So. Yeah. I think that sums it all up. Enrollment for my community college course on the subject goes live next week. Also, I see no way Tamblyn isn’t performing her dope rhymes with Fallon within the week. Just pretend Timberlake is wearing traveling pants…
Story Source: Street Carnage
Banner image: cinemafestival / Shutterstock.com
Tamblyn & Cross: s_bukley / Shutterstock.com
Fallon/Timberlake GIF via