A Guy Got Stabbed For Snoring Too Loudly During His Flight

Man sleeping on airplane
Shutterstock

Great, here’s another thing to worry about when you’re freaking out about flying: Some people will stab you with a pen if you’re snoring too loudly (and what “too loud” means is not up to you.)

A Southwest passenger trying to get some sleep on his flight from Chicago to New Hampshire annoyed the woman next to him so much with the awful sounds coming from his face that she had no choice but to take a pen and repeatedly poke him with it in the arm. Just kidding, she totally had a choice — she just wanted to spend some more time in the airport instead of flying. Which is actually quite a common fantasy, so she has nothing to be ashamed of.

Here’s how Michael Sutton, friend of the injured man, described his buddy’s harrowing ordeal to ABC 7:

“Chucklehead here fell asleep on the taxi on the runway, and I guess his arm kind of brushed over to her. She just went nuts and started stabbing him with the pen. He screamed really loud, almost like a little girl,” said Michael Sutton, Mordarski’s friend.

“Yeah, my arm hurt because I was being stabbed by a pen. And that’s why I made a lot of noise and the attendants came,” Mordarski said.

I don’t know if you’re prepared for this, but Sutton also posted a photo of Mordarski’s injuries, which is very graphic.

Mordarski says that what he lost in blood (nothing) he made up for in free liquor after the woman was removed from the flight. He told ABC 7 that he got free gin and tonics, which must have been more than enough compensation for the attack and subsequent two hour delay, because Mordarski declined to press charges against his attacker. She was put on a later flight.

(Via Chicagoist)