Redditor ropeyhodges posted a highlight reel of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s DVD commentary for Total Recall, and it is fantastically literal. We also found a compilation of Arnold Schwarzenegger and John Milius on the Conan The Barbarian DVD commentary, and it’s equally hilarious. Imagine John Madden with an Austrian accent giving you a play-by-play of exactly what you just saw five seconds ago, along with the occasional mention of boobs or of Richard Simmons’ gayness. BOOM.
I want to lock Arnold Schwarzenegger and Werner Herzog in a room and make them do DVD commentary on every episode of Friends. Unfortunately, that would be illegal. Man, it’s like I’m always stuck in second gear.
The first video below is NSFW for about a half a second on account of a three-breasted space prostitute, so watch out for that. You don’t want to have to tell job interviewers that you lost your last job because of a three-breasted space hooker. Or maybe you do. Hell, I’d hire you. And brofist with you. Especially if you’re female.