Nintendo Appoints Bowser As Vice President Of Sales

bowser boardroom
Shutterstock/Nintendo

Meet Doug Bowser! He’s got a lot of experience in the video game industry, having worked with Electronic Arts as a vice president of global business planning, and now he’s working at Nintendo as their vice president of sales. Because of course he is.

Not even Nintendo can deliver this news with an entirely straight face. Here’s a clip from the press release announcing Bowser’s hiring:

Nintendo of America has hired a new Vice President to lead the United States sales organization with a name that’s well-known in the Mushroom Kingdom. Effective today, Doug Bowser (no relation to the King Koopa and Mario’s longtime nemesis) will oversee a variety of sales-related functions…

Here’s what I want to know: How long did it take for Doug’s name to come up in conversation? “So, Doug, I see here you’ve worked at Procter & Gamble in Asia and Latin America, and you’ve spent nearly 10 years at EA. But how are you at driving go-karts?”

We’ve yet to confirm that Bowser has seven children, but at least you know he hasn’t kidnapped any princesses. That would definitely come up in an employee review.