I’m not sure how much introduction these posts need anymore. It all started when we discovered a little food truck called the Grillennium Falcon operating out of Arkansas. We loved it, and we wanted a food truck of our own. We quickly found that once you’ve started coming up with movie-food puns, it’s nearly impossible to stop. So we came up with some ideas of our own, then we did a rom-com edition, and today we’re back, with Movie-Themed Food Trucks: Action Movie Edition.
As always, thanks to the Drunkards for their suggestions — Stinky Peet, Robopanda, Jacktion!, BK, Pauly, Michelle, Spaz, Chareth, Donkey Hodey, et. al. But keep in mind, there were far more ideas than Burnsy and I could ever produce with our rudimentary Photoshop skills. It’s like running a food truck in that way, it’s one thing to put it on your menu, you also have to pump it out. In fact, between the two of us, I think we dedicated at least 20 man-hours to creating these. “JUST LEAVE THE FOOD OUTSIDE THE DOOR, MOM, I’M BUSY! THIS IS REEEEALLY IMPORTANT!”
Anyway, enjoy the fruits of our labor, and feel free to submit your own. Yes, we already thought of Pie Hard.
Yes, I suppose we could’ve gone with Eggfast, Eggfurious, but that seemed like a stretch.
“This just went from mission impossible to mission in-freakin-sandwichy!”
(Photoshop by Burnsy)
Commandough – a pizza joint, obvi. “Remember when I said I’d grill you last? …I lied.”
(Photoshop by Burnsy)
I think Stinky Peet came up with this one. You’ll soon see that I pretty much can’t get enough flan puns. Or flan, for that matter.
Photoshop by Vince
Just look at Grodin. See how badly he wants that flan? He craves it. He covets it. The man’s like a goddamned flan Gollum. That’s why we had to cuff him. I mean, more like Charles GLUTTON, am I right?
Photoshop by Vince
So itf anyone knows how to make that little curly-cue thingie at the bottom of the O that’s in “Pho,” please, I’m all ears. This is, of course, not to be confused with Hot Phos’ sister truck, the more gourmet-targeted “Haute Phos.”
Funny thing is, I was in LA over the weekend, and almost every Pho restaurant I saw was some kind of pun. Absolutely Phobulous, Pho Sho, What the Pho… I don’t think you’re even allowed to open a Pho joint in LA unless it’s a pun. Some kind of city code.
Photoshop by Vince
To be fair, I’m not exactly sure I Know Who Killed Me was an action movie, but no one saw it anyway, so lets pretend it was.
Photoshop by Vince
“Hey, Claudius! You Grilled my father! Big mistake!”
Last Action Hero is underrated. There, I said it.
Photoshop by Vince
What? You don eat focken stock wiv your lox and bagels, Tommy? It’s focken delicious, innit. Stock goes wiv focken everyfin.
Photoshop by Vince, concept by Robopanda.
I think this one was Donkey Hodey’s idea. I’m not sure what the “bang bang” would stand for. Maybe it doubles as a brothel? You know, now that I mention it, I wouldn’t mind a nice, hot quiche after I banged a hooker, if we’re being honest. Cigarettes are so unhealthy.
Photoshop by Vince
This was dangerously close to being “The Flansporter.” But that wouldn’t really rhyme, now would it, Tommy. Plus, with his washboard abs and flash sazz wagon, The Stath is already pretty well known for transporting clam, ifyaknowwhattimean. OH! (I meant “clam” as in vagina, in case that was unclear).
Photoshop by Vince
Does anyone remember Time Cop? Why the f*ck was he doing the splits? Even for a Van Damme movie, that seems like, well… a STRETCH! (I’m so sorry)
Photoshop by Vince
“Take me to bread or lose me forever.”
Photoshop by Burnsy
Tortas are probably the only thing I enjoy as much as flan. “Aw, baby, you make me wish I had three hands. So I could hold all three varieties of your delicious tortas.”
Photoshop by Vince
I don’t remember any lines from Clear and Present Danger.
Photoshop by Vince
Other Ideas:
- Pie Hard
- The French Convection
- The Road to Nutrition
- The Poi-seidon Adventure
- Gumbo in the Bronx
- Veal Steel
- The Hand that Rocks the Ladel
- Griddlefield Earth
- Mango and Cash
- Live and Let Dine
- Hobo with a Saucepan
- The Quik and the Dead
- Over the Tots
- A History of Pie-olence
- The Eggspendables
- Bunstoppable
- The Spy Who Loved Meat
- The Great Escrepe
- Lawrence of Arugula