Unless you spend even more time on the internet and you’re more aware of Mexican fashion trends than I am (note: DOUBTFUL), you probably haven’t heard of the Mexican pointy cowboy boots trend. But rest assured that it is a real fashion trend, and those guys in the above picture aren’t attempting to achieve some ironic meme fame. Their confident demeanor is an earnest expression of the knowledge that in their culture, they look really f*cking cool. But what the I don’t even… Luckily Vice has put together a short documentary (nine minutes) you can watch at lunch or on a break or while you’re supposed to be working today, which will explain everything you ever wanted to know about Mexicans wearing pointy cowboy boots. Okay, maybe not everything, but the most concise explanation seems to be this:
“Tribal music brought the pointy boots. In the beginning, people were wearing regular boots. Then people started making them pointier and pointier, until it got out of control.”
Remember that old Chappelle show sketch about how the crips/bloods gang war started because someone stepped on someone else’s sneaker? Maybe these boots are the reason Mexico is such a powder keg.
You’d think there’d be a better explanation, but most of the time, “because someone decided it looked cool” is all you get. It gives me the Billy Madison-esque hope that someday, peeing your pants will be the coolest (hopefully just as I reach old age). Mexicans wear pointy boots for the same reason proboscis monkeys have huge noses: it serves no functional purpose, but everyone agrees it’s totally sweet looking.
Though I understand there is a functional reason Mexicans wear baseball caps with the brims flipped up. They use it to hold their tacos while they pee.