I thought about using a different banner image for this week’s comments of the week, but it’s hard to go wrong with Pugboat, so I’m letting it ride. I’M THE CAPTAIN OF THIS PUGBOAT! MY WORD IS THE LAW!
This week’s winner was an easy choice. We posted the trailer for Romeo and Juliet XXX, and we always expect some good porn/Shakespeare mash-ups, but this sonnet from commenter Jabask was simply inspired.
Jabask
Shall I compare thee to a gaping ass?
Thou art more lovely and more tight:
Rough slaps do shake the booty’s class
But thy retain a pristine sphincter’s bite
Sometime too loose the eye of brown becomes,
And lover’s dance at risk of prolapse;
And every fist swallowed, fingers and thumbs,
As the sound of loneliness gently faps
But thy eternal bounce shall not fade
Nor succumb to gravity and travel south;
Nor shall the taste of glory be waylaid
On journeys ashes to ashes, ass to mouthSo long as men can breathe, or butts can fart,
So long lives these cheeks, now spread ‘em apart.
And speaking of literary parody…
From Lionsgate plans updated adaptation of American Psycho:
Logan says:
Do you like Kelly Clarkson?
I haven’t been a fan of any American Idol winner with the exception of her. Too teen oriented. Despite the success of her debut album, Thankful, it’s her second album, Breakaway, with which Kelly finds her true voice. Working with producer Max Martin, Kelly embraces a rock-oriented image that better suits her vocal style. With strong singles such as: Because Of You, Since You’ve Been Gone, and the Avril Lavigne co-written title track, Breakaway was able maintain a top 20 Billboard spot for a consecutive year; only the 4th album to ever do so.However, the true gem of Breakaway is the pop rock ballad Behind These Hazel Eyes. The song, co-written by Clarkson, is a window into the heartbreaking pain and frustration Kelly felt after a real life relationship ended. The song’s highlight is the final round of choruses. During previous verses and choruses the listener can feel Clarkson holding back, with the lyrics placing romantic blame on her youthful naivety. However, during the ending section of the bridge, she firmly declares an end to her victimization. Kelly then triumphantly proceeds to belt out the last choruses with every bit of her vocal arsenal, leaving nothing behind.
Though recent years have given more limelight to flashier acts like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga, Kelly Clarkson is still a powerful voice in pop music. She is a true American Idol.
I shudder to think of the actual Kelly Clarkson knowledge it took to leave that comment.
Same post:
Stallonewolf says: How is modern-day Patrick Bateman going to get out of awkward situations.
“I have to return some…downloads.”
Logan says: “Paul Allen can’t be dead. I just tweeted a picture of me and him in London.”
TFBuckFutter says: Can’t they re-imagine it in the 1920s instead?
I’m sick of movies always being updated and modernized. I want them unmodernized and whatever the opposite of updated is. I want to see bitches cut up with one of those giant two-man tree saws.
From The Lorax has a new trailer, is liberal propaganda:
thecursor says: As a conservative, I was more concerned by the fact The Muppet movie has character who is not a chicken dating a chicken. Not like a talking chicken…a chicken. A clucking chicken. Anyone else find that upsetting? Anyone? F*ck brain washing, there are so many commercials for so much shit, I just assumed my kids are being brainwashed anyway…that I can deal with. What I can’t deal with is my son growing up to be some kind of chicken f*cker. I can deal with my son being a liberal commie pinko, I could even survive my son being gay…but a chicken f*cker? That shit will not fly in my god damned house.
*smokes pipe, rocks chair, hates black people.*
From Harrison Ford staples a hat to his head:
Erswi says: You think it’s metal stapling your hat to your head? You should see how he keeps his pants from falling down.
I’ll give you a hint. It’s called a belt. (He solders it onto his penis!)
From American Reunion has a new poster:
Ace Rimmer says: They’ve really captured the spirit of a school reunion: Feigning enthusiasm for idiots you’ve made a point of avoiding for a decade.
From Holy hell, The Iron Lady looks terrible:
Larry says: This is basically The King’s Speech, except the stutter is not having a dong.
From Rob Huebel almost makes What to Expect When You’re Expecting look tolerable:
Morton Salt says:
I imagine watching this movie will be just like a real pregnancy:I don’t really want to, but the wife insists. She claims she’s enjoying it, but she obviously isn’t. During the last third she realizes that it sucks and just wants it to be over. As soon as it is over, she’s convinced herself that she loved it and wants to repeat the process, despite the fact that it involved shitting herself in public and an episiotomy. Finally, I get to stare at giant tits, but never touch them.
I can’t wait.
Yep, that about covers it. Thanks again, folks. As always, use the comments section of this post below to nominate for next week. T-SHIRTS: I will be putting in an order on a new batch of FilmDrunk shirts as soon as I publish this post. I don’t know if they’ll be in by next week, but we’ll have prizes again as soon as they are.