Last week, we reported that North Korea was reportedly furious about ‘The Interview,’ the Rogen/Franco vehicle in which they try to assassinate Kim Jong-un. Many outlets ran that through the link bait machine and turned it into a headline about North Korea ‘threatening war,’ which The Diplomat believes isn’t actually true. We’ve got that awesome press release so you can decide for yourself, but first, here’s The Diplomat:
The BBC, NPR and Washington Post all carried headlines announcing that North Korea had threatened war over the movie. Not to be outdone, the New York Post ran a headline proclaiming North Korea “threatens ‘merciless’ war” over the movie, while the Huffington Post announced “North Korea Threatens… ‘All Out War.’” ABC News contented itself with a headline that simply asked “Could Seth Rogen and James Franco’s New Film Start a War?”
I’m not sure whether it’s racist to call that “Yellow Journalism,” but here’s their fact check:
North Korea’s Foreign Ministry did release a statement about The Interview. This statement was in turn carried in full by the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), one of North Korea’s official media outlets.
The statement uses the word “war” precisely one time, when it declares that the film’s distribution is “absolutely intolerable” because “it is the most undisguised terrorism and a war action to deprive… [the] people of the DPRK of their mental mainstay [i.e. Kim Jong-Un and family] and bring down its social system.” [TheDiplomat]
We could debate semantics on this all day, or whether North Korea’s recent test of two missiles had anything to do with Rogen-Franco, but most importantly, we’ve got a full North Korean press release to talk about. Even if ‘The Interview’ is terrible and a complete failure, the fact that it brings more outraged North Korean press releases into the world already makes it a comedic success in my book.
The enemies have gone beyond the tolerance limit in their despicable moves to dare hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership of the DPRK.
A preview of a film on insulting and assassinating the supreme leadership of the DPRK is floating in broad daylight in the U.S., a kingpin of international terrorism and its cesspool, shocking the world community.
“Floating in broad daylight” in a “cesspool.” Boy, I’ll tell you what, the DPRK may not know how to feed its people, but they’re pretty damn deft with the turd imagery.
The U.S. has gone reckless in such provocative hysteria as bribing a rogue movie maker to dare hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership of the DPRK. This act of not fearing any punishment from Heaven is touching off the towering hatred and wrath of the service personnel and people of the DPRK.
It’s very sad when a movie maker goes rogue. One time Kevin Smith escaped from his enclosure, threw a shoe, and nearly leveled an Arby’s back in ’98.
The dignified and worthwhile life the Korean people enjoy at present and the great changes taking place in the country as well as everything valuable that will belong to the rosy future when the dreams and ideals of the people will come true would be unthinkable apart from the supreme leadership of the DPRK.
It’s amazing how wordy writing can get when not being excited enough about the supreme leadership can get you executed.
That’s why they regard the supreme leadership as dearer than their own lives.
Another way to say this is that most would rather die than be strapped to a mortar shell and executed.
If the U.S. administration connives at and patronizes the screening of the film, it will invite a strong and merciless countermeasure.
If you ask me, “it will invite a strong and merciless countermeasure” is sufficiently synonymous with threatening war to use it in a headline. But the point is, no dark comedy is ever going to be darker or more hilarious than North Korea already is.